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My girlfriend lied to me and took all my money

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  • My girlfriend lied to me and took all my money

    I met my girl online 2007. We met in person and fell in love. She told me she was a regional manager for an established company and had to constantly travel overseas. She told me her mother had medical problem and she constantly had finance problems. I lent her money first, but as time went on because of my love for her and the amount of love she showed me, i started giving her more and more till it esclated to $129k.Then she disappeared When i asked her mum she said she met with an accident overseas and is warded. i wanted to go and see her but her mum said she cannot tell me where she is as my girlfriend didnt want me to see her in that condition and if i loved her i will respect her wishes. This went on for a year. Only a week ago i grew suspicious and checked with the place she was working and they said no such person worked there. i did some background check and found out everything she said was a lie. she is a drug addict. She was in prison for the past one year. She spent all the money on drugs. She is out now but is avoiding me.

    1) I know i can sue her for the money by going to the claims court but If i make a police report is there a case against her? Can i make her go to prison?I did not make her sign any papers when lending her the money. But i have the receipts when i made all those transfers to her accounts. I have all her emails where she lied about the reasons she needed the money. Like needing money to study. To buy an air ticket, for luggage, for courses, mother's medical fees etc which all turned out not to be true.

  • #2
    Re: My girlfriend lied to me and took all my money

    Actually, you cannot sue her in small claims court if you are expecting the entire $129,000 back. Small claims courts have a cap, in general, of $5,000. That is the limit.

    Because you were in a relationship with her and gave her money, you have no way to prove it was a loan. You could try to press criminal charges against her, but since you willingly gave her the money and she did not steal it from you, you would be hard pressed to get very far going that route.

    You can sue her in small claims court but the most you will receive in judgment will be $5,000. And even t that, you will probably never actually recover that money. If she's a drug addict and has been living the past year in prison, that is a good indication she will not honor the judgment. Many people don't.

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    • #3
      My girlfriend lied to me and took all my money

      Hi thank you. What about the lies she told to con me out of my money? I have her emails where she constantly asked me for money citing one reason after another all lies. If she can be charged in a criminal court what will she be charged under? Cheating Fraud?

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      • #4
        Re: My girlfriend lied to me and took all my money

        I'm sorry, but you believed them. You gave her money and did not loan her the money. You are one of many people who were conned. You have no case.

        If you two were still in a relationship, would you be asking these questions?

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        • #5
          Re: My girlfriend lied to me and took all my money

          Same thing happened to me. Except I still haven't met her. I told her I'm flying into her city to visit her and she said okay, but she never picked me up from the airport. She conned me out of nearly $50,000. I have all the transaction on paypal to prove it. I'm a U.S. Army soldier and just got back from Afghanistan less than a month ago. I'm stuck here in her city spending a week in a hotel for nothing. Since I'm a soldier in the United States Army, and she lied to me and conned me for money, do I have a case and can she go to prison?

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          • #6
            Re: My girlfriend lied to me and took all my money

            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            Same thing happened to me. Except I still haven't met her. I told her I'm flying into her city to visit her and she said okay, but she never picked me up from the airport. She conned me out of nearly $50,000. I have all the transaction on paypal to prove it. I'm a U.S. Army soldier and just got back from Afghanistan less than a month ago. I'm stuck here in her city spending a week in a hotel for nothing. Since I'm a soldier in the United States Army, and she lied to me and conned me for money, do I have a case and can she go to prison?
            Just as with the other person, you were conned. You needed to exercise common sense to avoid being scammed by this woman.

            Do you have any proof that the money you gave this woman was intended as a loan and not a gift? Something in writing that shows an agreement that she would actually pay you back this money? Do you know where in the world this woman actually lives? Do you even have any proof that this woman is actually a WOMAN?

            I'll assume that the answer to ALL of these questions is NO. And that really does place a stop to any potential recourse you think you might have against her. You can't prosecute her, and you can't sue her. You gave your money based on empty promises of a relationship that was never going to happen.

            This is a perfect example of what NOT to do. Learn from it.
            "If it ain't in writing, it never happened."
            "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
            "You can never make the same mistake twice, because the second time you make it, it's not a mistake, but a CHOICE."

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            • #7
              Re: My girlfriend lied to me and took all my money

              Extorting money out of someone under the guise of a personal relationship is not that uncommon. Prosecutors pursue such cases all the time. More often than not it is women, widows or affluent, lonely, divorced women who end up being preyed upon by con men with lots of empty promises but mercenary intentions.

              Telling someone to just chalk up a $129K loss to life experience is not adequate. When one has been bilked out of such a large sum of money, telling it to the local prosecutor/da first is the appropriate thing to do. They may be able to make a case for fraud and pick up the louse, help get some or all of the money back, and/or the con artist in jail.

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              • #8
                Re: My girlfriend lied to me and took all my money

                Unfortunately there's not much to be done. The law considers them gifts and that you gave them to her. Don't let the words offend you, it's just how it is looked at legally. I know she manipulated you and I know you assumed you'd be together forever, but that can't be used against her.

                It's a hard lesson to learn. My ex-girlfriend took $8000 in 5 weeks and I have idea where she is.

                I did find Report Your Ex Warn Others About Your Ex Research Boyfriend Girlfriend Revenge | Report Your Ex, so I put her name on the Internet for others to see, but that's about all I could do.
                ----------------
                The trouble is, you can't sue her unless you have an address and the maximum in small claims court is $25,000 (in Canada).

                So I've tried taking her to small claims court and found out I can't file without an address.

                The thing is, what these girls do isn't illegal. To you and me it's basically legal stealing, but there's nothing to be done about it.

                You have to realize the whole reason why girls do this is they can get away with it scott free.

                In a good relationship, money wouldn't matter, but in a good, healthy relationship finances, and your social life are balanced. That's what I'm trying to come to terms with now.

                I've been reading about manipulative people and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and these girls basically will say and do whatever they can to get your money and sound very convincing doing it, but they don't care about anyone except themselves.

                Hopefully you'll look up how they manipulate and be smarter for it next time.

                I'm not so smart yet, but I'm told, to take it slow next time, keep your finances separate and keep a healthy social life with your friends and relatives.

                These people will isolate you and manipulate you and make you work so hard you don't have time to think or realize what is going on. That' their MO, so watch out for it next time.

                So don't beat yourself up over it and if you can afford it, move on. They will not have any remorse for you and the way they spend money, the money is gone! You couldn't get it back out of them if you tried. Very likely it was spent not saved up!

                These type of people don't think about savings or the future like you and me, for them it's just I want it and I want it now. No thought, no planning no common sense beyond their immediate need.

                My ex-wife was the same way, I lost $60,000 in cash and another $90,000 in exquity in our condo, because she'd rather walk away from it and lose the money than have to think about it. $90,000! because it gave her a headache!!!

                A drug addict can go through $100,000 a year or more. So I don't think there's any money left to get back.

                Also, their family is very much like them, and will cover for them, so don't believe anything the mother says either!

                Criminal charges may be a better if you want her to pay for her actions.. However, her taking money from you, perfectly legal. The paper trail (I have one too), doesn't make a difference. You're proving you gave her money, which is perfectly legal.

                I know what you are going through. I'm going through the same dilemma myself right now.
                There's not much I can do either.



                As for what can be done, maybe sue her and take her to court? See what a lawyer says.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: My girlfriend lied to me and took all my money

                  Wow some people just have no morals.They are just the scum of the earth.It makes it hard for a normal woman or man to find a partner as you don't know who to trust anymore.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: My girlfriend lied to me and took all my money

                    Prostitution is legal in Canada. It can be a better solution to a regular relationship later in life for men and woman.
                    Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

                    I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

                    Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: My girlfriend lied to me and took all my money

                      Originally posted by Bruce123abc View Post
                      Unfortunately there's not much to be done. The law considers them gifts and that you gave them to her. Don't let the words offend you, it's just how it is looked at legally. I know she manipulated you and I know you assumed you'd be together forever, but that can't be used against her.

                      It's a hard lesson to learn. My ex-girlfriend took $8000 in 5 weeks and I have idea where she is.

                      I did find Report Your Ex Warn Others About Your Ex Research Boyfriend Girlfriend Revenge | Report Your Ex, so I put her name on the Internet for others to see, but that's about all I could do.
                      ----------------
                      The trouble is, you can't sue her unless you have an address and the maximum in small claims court is $25,000 (in Canada).

                      So I've tried taking her to small claims court and found out I can't file without an address.

                      The thing is, what these girls do isn't illegal. To you and me it's basically legal stealing, but there's nothing to be done about it.

                      You have to realize the whole reason why girls do this is they can get away with it scott free.

                      In a good relationship, money wouldn't matter, but in a good, healthy relationship finances, and your social life are balanced. That's what I'm trying to come to terms with now.

                      I've been reading about manipulative people and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and these girls basically will say and do whatever they can to get your money and sound very convincing doing it, but they don't care about anyone except themselves.

                      Hopefully you'll look up how they manipulate and be smarter for it next time.

                      I'm not so smart yet, but I'm told, to take it slow next time, keep your finances separate and keep a healthy social life with your friends and relatives.

                      These people will isolate you and manipulate you and make you work so hard you don't have time to think or realize what is going on. That' their MO, so watch out for it next time.

                      So don't beat yourself up over it and if you can afford it, move on. They will not have any remorse for you and the way they spend money, the money is gone! You couldn't get it back out of them if you tried. Very likely it was spent not saved up!

                      These type of people don't think about savings or the future like you and me, for them it's just I want it and I want it now. No thought, no planning no common sense beyond their immediate need.

                      My ex-wife was the same way, I lost $60,000 in cash and another $90,000 in exquity in our condo, because she'd rather walk away from it and lose the money than have to think about it. $90,000! because it gave her a headache!!!

                      A drug addict can go through $100,000 a year or more. So I don't think there's any money left to get back.

                      Also, their family is very much like them, and will cover for them, so don't believe anything the mother says either!

                      Criminal charges may be a better if you want her to pay for her actions.. However, her taking money from you, perfectly legal. The paper trail (I have one too), doesn't make a difference. You're proving you gave her money, which is perfectly legal.

                      I know what you are going through. I'm going through the same dilemma myself right now.
                      There's not much I can do either.



                      As for what can be done, maybe sue her and take her to court? See what a lawyer says.
                      Both men and women need to be careful when it comes to giving money to someone they are in a relationship with. Correct that there is nothing one can do for someone who gives money to another, wearing rose colored glasses, with the expectation the relationship will be long lasting -- and without a note promising repayment.

                      Both men and women have played the fool letting their emotions rule their financial decisions.

                      The law cannot protect one from themself.

                      Comment

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