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adoption gone bad

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  • adoption gone bad

    I have two boys who were adopted by my foster mom 10 years ago one of them who is 14 now has been running away for the past 2 years and now wants to live with me. He claims that if not with me he will continue to run away until of age. What steps can I take to save my childs safety

  • #2
    Re: adoption gone bad

    Originally posted by jeiy View Post
    I have two boys who were adopted by my foster mom 10 years ago one of them who is 14 now has been running away for the past 2 years and now wants to live with me. He claims that if not with me he will continue to run away until of age. What steps can I take to save my childs safety
    At this point, there is nothing YOU can do. You no longer have any parental rights to these children. The right to make any decisions regarding their care and control ended on the day that your foster mom adopted them. You have NO rights to have them come and live with you unless the adoptive mom allows for it (which I'm assuming she isn't).

    Stop encouraging the child to disobey his mother. Stop giving him hope that if he throws a big enough tantrum that he will get to do what you obviously are telling him to do.
    "If it ain't in writing, it never happened."
    "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
    "You can never make the same mistake twice, because the second time you make it, it's not a mistake, but a CHOICE."

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    • #3
      Re: adoption gone bad

      Agreed. You need to assist their new mother in obtaining control over them, if anything.
      Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

      I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

      Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: adoption gone bad

        lol im neither encouraging or giving hope I did not sign over my rights first of all it was an open adoption and like I said he is making his own choice I am the mother never stopped being there for them I have always been in their lives and not until recently did she do well with them but now that they are teens its taking a toll on them. tantrums is far off my son runs away from every placement and it is now becoming a safety issue and before anything happens to MY son I want to step in more profoundly. adoptions can be overturned especially when there are signs of verbal and emotional abuse so don't tell me I was put out the picture I have always been there for them as well as part of every aspect of their lives.

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        • #5
          Re: adoption gone bad

          Time out!!! What do you mean by this"my son runs away from every placement"? Has he been placed into foster care and removed from her custody? If that is the case, why won't they consider you for foster mom?
          Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

          I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

          Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: adoption gone bad

            and I completely disagree I do have a say have always had a say lol just spoke to the lawyer and my son is coming home. hows that for a reply... this just goes to show anything is possible and sometimes people just don't know what they are talking about.

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            • #7
              Re: adoption gone bad

              yes he was placed back into foster care because of speculations of abuse blew my mind when I heard of it too.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: adoption gone bad

                Originally posted by jeiy View Post
                and I completely disagree I do have a say have always had a say lol just spoke to the lawyer and my son is coming home. hows that for a reply... this just goes to show anything is possible and sometimes people just don't know what they are talking about.
                As you can see, it took no time at all to determine the possibility he could be placed with you, if he was being taken away from her. You suffer from the same problem many people do, that request help. You do not give all the information. There is a term for that.

                GIGO- Garbage In Garbage Out.

                Good Luck
                Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

                I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

                Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: adoption gone bad

                  I was never an unfit mom I was young and thought that I was making the right choice and asked my foster mom who was great at the time for some help im 32 years old and have two more younger boys in my custody who I have cared for exceptionally well. they are 9 and 11 I have had no problems with dcf or the law I work full time and am a part time med student. I am concerned for my sons well being that's all

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                  • #10
                    Re: adoption gone bad

                    The problem was you did not tell us they were taking the child from her. Once that happened, assuming you were a fit parental role model, you would become the logical choice, once the gov't qualified you. Though sometimes it happens, gov't employees usually try to do what is best, not just win pissing contests, with children.
                    Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

                    I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

                    Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: adoption gone bad

                      blow it out your ass I need not to give all info u probably just seen the pr flag and categorized me lol I go threw it ALOT AND I SUFFER FROM NOTHING people ask for help not profiling, and badgering I feel I was attacked but thank god he is on my side and I will never use a site like this again I will pray for all you and your judging ways.

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                      • #12
                        Re: adoption gone bad

                        your head fits in your ass try putting it there *******

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: adoption gone bad

                          Are you off your nut? I just explained why you did not hear the answer the way it played out at first. If you look at the time stamps, I did so before you gave the outcome. I then explained why you did not hear that was possible originally and wished you luck. I'm sorry if you cannot comprehend what is written.



                          Originally posted by jeiy View Post
                          blow it out your ass I need not to give all info u probably just seen the pr flag and categorized me lol I go threw it ALOT AND I SUFFER FROM NOTHING people ask for help not profiling, and badgering I feel I was attacked but thank god he is on my side and I will never use a site like this again I will pray for all you and your judging ways.
                          Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

                          I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

                          Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: adoption gone bad

                            I've said it before and I will say it again - OPs hold stuff back for a REASON. Why they get a kick out of giving 1/3 of the story asking for help then come back later saying we were wrong oh yeah here's the rest, I will never understand.

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