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My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

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  • My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

    Hello, i live in Colorado, my daughter is 14 months, I was not married to her father when she was born. We broke up when I was 5 months pregnant with her, however he is on the birth certificate and has seen her through his own efforts, including while I was still in the hospital after giving birth, three times. Financially speaking he has helped me with $72. While I was on maternity leave he came to see her once, which is one of the three times he's seen her through his own efforts. That day, he told me he would come over on the weekends to help me out taking care of her. He never showed up. He did not have contact with me for a few months. I tried calling his parents, but I got no answer so i left messages. They did not respond. I had my sister call them, because I had a feeling they were intentionally ignoring my calls and they would not recognize her number. His mom answered my sister, and pretty much admitted she was ignoring my calls and told my sister, her son was limited to a phone. Turns out he was in jail. I think he was put in jail sometime in Feb or March of 2008. Time passed and we started talking again in Aug. of 2009. We agreed to keep talking see where things went. I told him I did not want to make a decision because I am pregnant from someone else and he is in the half way house. I took her to him a few times while he was on release from the half way house. So up until a few weeks ago we were getting along fine. We got into an argument, we stopped talking. Our argument was that he wanted to take her once he got out of the half way house, to spend time with her. And I said that's fine as long as I'm there. She does not know him, to her he's a stranger. He got mad. This past weekend I told him i wanted my ring back, which is the him ring that would have been his. He said no, not until he got his back. He has all the rings, I don't have any of them. He keeps denying, so I told him I'm taking him to court to get my rings back and to get him for child support. Never once did I tell him he cannot see his daughter. He left me a voice mail saying he is not going to spend his time or money on child support courts and he is signing over his parental rights.
    My question is, how can I make sure, if he does sign over his parental rights, he will never be able to get custody of her by any means. Tomorrow isn't promised to anybody, if I was to die I want to make sure he has no rights to her. Thank you, Details

  • #2
    Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

    He cant! Unless your currently married and your husband wishes to adopt he cannot give up his rights

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    • #3
      Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

      Thank you for your response, i appreciate it. If I may, I have other questions. Does he have the same rights as I do? Can he demand to take her whenever he wants? Is there anything i can do to prevent from him getting custody of her if I was to die?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

        As the legal parent he has all the same rights as you. This includes support, custody and, visitation. If something should happen to you yes he would be the one to raise child. No there is nothing you can do about that

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        • #5
          Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

          Thank you again for your response. Though I feel like my heart just got ripped right out of me.
          Thank you again.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

            The father has just as much right to know and be a part of the child's life as the mother. You are making a decision for your child that you really have no right to make.

            That said, if he has been legally established as the child's father, he is legally entitled to parent that child.

            It's unclear which rings you mean, but if he bought you an engagement ring, that ring belongs to him, not you.

            He cannot give up his parental rights in order to avoid paying child support. He will still be financially obligated to support his child, whether or not he shares in the child's upbringing.

            If you are going to "get him" for child support, he will have the legal right and opportunity to file for full custody of the child. You cannot have it both ways; i.e. wanting his money but not his presences in his own child's life. It doesn't work that way.

            If you were to die before he does, he will (and only he) get custody of the child. He is the only other person in the world with any rights to the child besides you. You cannot leave the child with another unless he were to predecease you.

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            • #7
              Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

              I did not make the decision, the father did. He said he will give up his parental rights on his own. I have never kept him from her. And if he did, I WOULD NOT want child support. I haven't needed his money for more than a year now, and fine with that. I've never asked him for money, all I ever wanted was for him to have relationship with her and he's never made the effort. He expects me to take her to him. I can't all the time. I have a full time job and I take care of my daughter afterwards. He doesn't give me gas money or pay for her doctor visits or buy her necessities. And I've never asked him to. He lives an hour away, that's a lot of gas money for me. When he's wanting to come into our lives and demand to take her by herself, knowing she is only 1 year old and does not know him, I'm going to say unless I'm there with her, yes you can take her. I don't want my cake and eat it to. I'm not like that. You are judging wrongfully.
              The ring I'm talking about is the HIM ring the one I would have put on his finger. I bought it. For your FYI I told him to keep the rings and if he refuses to be the father and will sign over his rights to me, because those were his exact words, then go ahead. I don't need his money!!

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              • #8
                Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

                The disparities between your first post and your latest are a bit confusing.

                In your fist post, dated yesterday (Feb. 9, 2010) you claim you are unemployed. Today, you claim you have a full-time job.

                In your first post, you claim, several times, that you do not want him to have any parental rights and do not want him to get custody should you die. Today, you claim the opposite.

                In your first post, you claim you threatened (to him) that you were going to "get him" for child support. Today, you claim you want no such thing for him. Incidentally, it's not you who "needs" his money. It's his and your child who needs it. It's not "mommy" support. It's CHILD support. And if he's been legally established as the father, then he is legally obligated to support his offspring. Also, in your first post, you claimed you threatened to take him to court over the ring(s). Today, you claim that you told him he could keep not only "his" but both of the rings.

                Which statements are true and accurate? The ones dated Feb. 9, or the ones made at 12:30p.m. today?

                In your first post, you mentioned you wanted to make sure he "has no rights to her". Today, you claim differently.

                Again, he may, IF a court allows it, give up his right to PARENT the child, but it will not absolve him of his fiduciary duty to financially SUPPORT the child.

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                • #9
                  Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

                  Excuse me, disregard the section regarding unemployment vs. full-time employment. That was not included in your original statement.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

                    I did not claim differently about him not having parental rights and if I should die i don't want him to get custody. you don't know how he is. He's always twisting things around making me to look like the bad guy to his family. And i did not threaten him that I was going to get him for child support. Honestly I told him that just to see what reaction I would get from him. And I know it's not "mommy" support. You make it sound as if I want his money for my own pleasure, for my own needs. It's not like that. Yeah, I told him to keep the rings, and I told him to go pawn them and use them to pay for his probation. He needs the money more than I do. He tells me I'm selfish and that I'm playing games because I said I was getting him for child support something that is rightfully our daughters. I believe he's giving up his parental rights to get out of paying child support. That is what his voice mail sounds like to me.
                    He doesn't care about her. Not like I do, I care for her with my heart. He just says he does but doesn't show it. If he really did, when we got into the argument about me not letting him take her by herself, why did it take him a whole week to text and ask how she was doing knowing she had RSV. When before the argument, he called several times a day. If he really cared about her and wanted to support her he would regardless of what was going on between us. He has a job and supports his other daughter. He dropped $1500 to bring his other daughter and her whole family from California. His responsibility is his daughter and not her whole famliy. But yet he can't even give $10. But, that's fine I don't care. Like I said I told him about the child support just to see what reaction I would get from him. And he's that quick to give up his parental rights, so he won't pay child support. Though he may still have to if the courts says he does. My daughter does not need his money, She never has, she never wil.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

                      Your problem remains the same. When you decided to create a child with him (intentional or not) you also chose him as a suitable Father for your child. He is an equal partner in this now with all the same rights as you. This includes custody and he will be first one sought out if anything happens to you.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

                        You seem to be having a hard time comprehending basic facts.

                        Your child needs, and is entitled to be, financially supported by BOTH parents.

                        And you most certainly did threaten him, regardless of how you word it. You threatened to "get him" for child support, and it matters not what your motive behind that threat was. What did you think his reaction would be? Stop being coy here.

                        There is no use repeating anything. You've already been given an answer to your question. He will be the one who gets custody of the child should anything happen to you. It's best to start learning to accept that and move on with your life.

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                        • #13
                          Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

                          I don't believe I'm being coy. And I am comprehending the basic facts. I was just simply trying to explain the kind of person he is. The times he has giving me money for her, he made a big deal about it. Telling me that was the only money he had and he gave it to me. I didn't hear the end of it. I sometimes get left with literally a dollar to my name, but I don't mind cause I know my daughter has what she needs.

                          As for the reaction i got from him, I honestly did not think he would want to give up his parental rights that fast.Though I know he is very selfish with his money, that was not the reaction I thought he would have.

                          I know it's both our responsibilities to support her and he has the same rights as I do. I know that now, thank you for your answers. But because I know how he is and when he said he would give up his parental rights, I wanted to hold on to that with both hands and not let go.

                          Yes I did create my child with him thinking he would be a suitable father and husband. And I was wrong and now I have to deal with him no matter what. So I do understand my situation with a lump in my throat. Thank you for your responses.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

                            What has not been addressed in this matter is, what is his current parental status? Did he sign, at the hospital an Acknowledgement of Paternity? Has there been a court order regarding custody/visitation? If not, then he currently has no legal rights to the child nor does he have any legal obligation to pay child support. Can you please elaborate on this?

                            The problem with trying to explain what kind of person he is, is there are always two sides to every story. Very rarely do the two sides coincide.

                            Never make threats without the resolve to back them up. People don't respond well to threats, and his reaction, while it may be irresponsible, was typical.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: My daughter's father is willing to give up his parental rights

                              From the original post

                              "however he is on the birth certificate"

                              Comment

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