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Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

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  • Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

    Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a month. He gets pretty rough during sex. the other night we were having sex and he said he was going to get his pistol and if i didnt put it down my throat he would break up with me, he didnt get the pistol, he got a knife instead...he put it on my neck and asked me when it hurts, and once i said it hurts he stopped. Another night he smothered me with a pillow during sex, it scared me. He does things like this alot,he holds my mouth and tells me to shutup. sometimes he acts like he is going to choke me but doesnt put a lot of force. he threatens me in a joking manner but i dont know if he is really joking or not,he says if i cheat on him he will spit in my face or that ill be done with or that he will get some girl to beat me up. We actually have a really good relationship bseides all this..he's not possessive like most guys who are abusive, he doesnt get too jealous,we are happy together. Ohyeah another thing he does during sex is gives me hickeys which is fine but sometimes he bites kinda hard...once he bit my arm and i have a bruise from it. I also have small bruises on my thighs from having sex. He made me give him a hickey this morning...MADE me. idk im not used to dating guys like this and i dont know if im in a abusive relationship or not. Please let me know... Thank you

    Sarah

  • #2
    re: Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

    YES, you are being abused! Get away from him now before something really terrible happens to you. It is only a matter of time.

    Comment


    • #3
      re: Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

      YES,YES,YES This is abuse and it will get worse...It is controlling in the bedroom and eventually it will get worse...GET OUT !!!!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

        It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out this guy has some deep seated, serious mental issues that only a trained psychiatric professional could possibly get to the bottom of.

        Get away from him, now. This is just a small taste of the nightmare he has in store for you. This guy is disturbed and it's only a matter of time before he escalates his violence.

        If he threatened to use a gun on you in any way, and if he actually held a knife on you, get yourself to the nearest police station and have him arrested. If you don't know that is abuse, you need counseling yourself. That is extreme intimidation and sick, twisted behavior. Normal people do not do such things, even for "thrills" in the bedroom.

        Get out now, or don't be surprised when he does worse to you. It's not a matter of IF. It's a matter of WHEN. I guarantee it.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

          For crying out loud, if you're uncomfortable with rough sex, either tell him that you're uncomfortable or dump him. If you haven't told him that you don't like it, I don't think it's fair to him for you to say you're being abused. Sounds akin to crying rape when you really consented and then just changed your mind afterwards. If you don't like the situation, change it. Some people enjoy it rough and unless you speak up, he is going to think that you are enjoying it too.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

            And what are you doing having sex with him when you've only known him about a month?!!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Let him cause I'll get a boyfriend you won't even finger u

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                And what are you doing having sex with him when you've only known him about a month?!!!
                She's horny and properly loves him doin this stuff I wish my boyfriend did this

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

                  I also think that he is abusing. I don't think that anyone do sex like that and do things like pistol or something. I also think that you have to go away.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a month. He gets pretty rough during sex. the other night we were having sex and he said he was going to get his pistol and if i didnt put it down my throat he would break up with me, he didnt get the pistol, he got a knife instead...he put it on my neck and asked me when it hurts, and once i said it hurts he stopped. Another night he smothered me with a pillow during sex, it scared me. He does things like this alot,he holds my mouth and tells me to shutup. sometimes he acts like he is going to choke me but doesnt put a lot of force. he threatens me in a joking manner but i dont know if he is really joking or not,he says if i cheat on him he will spit in my face or that ill be done with or that he will get some girl to beat me up. We actually have a really good relationship bseides all this..he's not possessive like most guys who are abusive, he doesnt get too jealous,we are happy together. Ohyeah another thing he does during sex is gives me hickeys which is fine but sometimes he bites kinda hard...once he bit my arm and i have a bruise from it. I also have small bruises on my thighs from having sex. He made me give him a hickey this morning...MADE me. idk im not used to dating guys like this and i dont know if im in a abusive relationship or not. Please let me know... Thank you

                    Sarah
                    Yes, you are in a dangerously abusive relationship. Take the threats he made seriously. Threats to have someone beat you up if you try to break up with him? Smothering during sex? Threats to use a gun or knife against you if you try to break up with him? Holding your mouth so you can't speak or cry out? You are in a DANGEROUS relationship for guys who make threats like this eventually act on them.

                    You need to get away from this sicko asap. And without giving him a clue you intend to escape. If you Google "national domestic violence hotline" and call them, they will refer you to the closest domestic violence shelter and advocates. You can be accepted into a safe house where he cannot find you and they can steer you to the legal help you need to get a stay away, no contact order against him.

                    Too many women and the families that survive them have lived and died for not having heeded the strong warnings they got that the intimate partner was capable of killing them. And did.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

                      What do you think the chances are, "Friend", that the OP is still around to heed your advice? She created the thread and posted the question over 2 years ago.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

                        my bf gets quite rough too during sex. he slaps me sometimes during foreplay though not too hard. he says it turns him on. he even calls me ***** n uses abuses while we have sex. but after sex he acts quite normal and is nt at all that aggressive. what should i do ?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

                          Sarah, i don't want you to get hurt, but thats not a healthy relationship, you need to call the police, tell your parents, doctor or councellor, you have to get out or he will do somthing bad like rape you, refuse sex with him and never turn back, don't go for "please i never meant to hurt you" LEAVE DEAR please for your own safety, i know its hard but you have to leave NOW!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

                            Yes he is abusing you. If my man did that I would kick his a**. You definitely have to leave him and file a restraining order against him. Tell the police about how he threatened to send someone to harm you they will help you.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Is my boyfriend abusing me... He gets pretty rough during sex

                              everybody has told you your being abused,but ask your self,have you said, "no or stop it,have you demanded that he stop? if you love him its worth knowing if he's possibly thinking that this is what YOU like.if its not&you say stop and he keeps on then its abuse for sure.if you dont tell him no then you may want to look at your self and ask if you're the one who likes this.an open line of communication is needed in all relationships.

                              Comment

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