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  • My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

    My husband seem to left me without notice. He will not respond to my text messages, phone calls or voice mails. His personal belongings are still here. We have only been married for 9 months and this is my house, do I have to let him come in my house when he feels like it to retrieve his belongings or can I give him a time and date. And I want to be here am I allowed to do that since he wont respond. He did tell me that he was tired though and that was all. And he said to have left me because of my daughter, not me. He will not tell me if he is gone for good and I constantly am asking. What am I to do. And if he is cheating am I entitled to alimony?

  • #2
    re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

    I wish to inform you that you can claim spousal support and alimony in case of divorce proceedings. Further as regards your husbands things you can have court order after which you can dispose of the things. At present those things may be regarded as matrimonial property and thus setting aside may create an issue with you. Further you can schedule the time in which your husband can come and take things.

    AFF

    Comment


    • #3
      re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

      You have not given enough info to indicate he is not entitled to return to the residence. You are very unlikely to get alimony after a 9 month marriage. Expecting it, speaks loads about why you have marital problems.
      Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

      I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

      Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

      Comment


      • #4
        re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

        Originally posted by mizzjackson View Post
        My husband seem to left me without notice. He will not respond to my text messages, phone calls or voice mails. His personal belongings are still here. We have only been married for 9 months and this is my house, do I have to let him come in my house when he feels like it to retrieve his belongings or can I give him a time and date. And I want to be here am I allowed to do that since he wont respond. He did tell me that he was tired though and that was all. And he said to have left me because of my daughter, not me. He will not tell me if he is gone for good and I constantly am asking. What am I to do. And if he is cheating am I entitled to alimony?
        The practical thing to do is box up his things, put them in the garage and give him a time and date to pick them up, within the next week or two. Number the boxes and keep a record of the contents. Have him sign for them when he picks them up. That solves any potential problem of "You did not give me my (whatever)." If he does not make arrangements to pick up his things, you may tell him you will put them in a self storage facility, send him the key and he can pay the bill and pick his things up here.

        Of course you are entitled to remain in the house -- its YOUR home. You can have a friend over at the appointed time if you do not want to get involved in exchanges with him. You are free to change the locks on the door since it is your house and apparently the brief marriage has gone kaput with his moving out.

        It is up to you to decide what YOU want to do. Stalking out without notice, without discussing whatever is bothering him, refusing to talk, giving the silent treatment is no sign of an emotionally mature man suited for marriage. Marriage requires communication, give and take and this behavior you describe is infantile!

        Dissolving the marriage appears to be a given. See a family law attorney. Considering the brief length of time it should not be a complicated matter and, no, for the same reasons, alimony would not be awarded.

        Comment


        • #5
          re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

          [QUOTE=Disagreeable;288856]You have not given enough info to indicate he is not entitled to return to the residence. You are very unlikely to get alimony after a 9 month marriage. Expecting it, speaks loads about why you have marital problems.[

          To disagreeable first of all i am a real woman i truly loved my husband and still do. He left me for no good reason. The way that he let was immature and childish for him to be 50. The reason that I asked about support is because that is what he cares about the most is his money. Furthermore that is your opinion of me in which i can form a very good one about you but will keep to myself. Don't judge a book by it cover,you only heard a very small portion of this situation. We have been together for 2 years married for 9 months. I paid the bills for almost a year when he only received unemployment and he kept over half of that. I paid or his medical insurance out of my check every two weeks when he has never paid for anything or me. So nect time before you judge try asking in a better way.Just a little friendly advice or you.

          Comment


          • #6
            re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

            Originally posted by Friend In Court View Post
            The practical thing to do is box up his things, put them in the garage and give him a time and date to pick them up, within the next week or two. Number the boxes and keep a record of the contents. Have him sign for them when he picks them up. That solves any potential problem of "You did not give me my (whatever)." If he does not make arrangements to pick up his things, you may tell him you will put them in a self storage facility, send him the key and he can pay the bill and pick his things up here.

            Of course you are entitled to remain in the house -- its YOUR home. You can have a friend over at the appointed time if you do not want to get involved in exchanges with him. You are free to change the locks on the door since it is your house and apparently the brief marriage has gone kaput with his moving out.

            It is up to you to decide what YOU want to do. Stalking out without notice, without discussing whatever is bothering him, refusing to talk, giving the silent treatment is no sign of an emotionally mature man suited for marriage. Marriage requires communication, give and take and this behavior you describe is infantile!

            Dissolving the marriage appears to be a given. See a family law attorney. Considering the brief length of time it should not be a complicated matter and, no, for the same reasons, alimony would not be awarded.
            Thank you. I truly agree but it is so hard when you have done nothing wrong and I still love him very much. I know that he is immature to be 50 but this is my second marriage and i wanted to try tomakeit work. I feel that he abandoned me for no good reason.He loves his money so I want to hit him where it hurts. We were together for 2 years but only married 9 months. I have already allowed him to get his stuff. I footed the bills for almost a year when he received unemployment and kept over half of that, and I paid for his health insurance out of my check, he has never done anything like that for me. Thanks again I feel he is immature I was only hoping that he would change and still do.

            Comment


            • #7
              re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

              It appears you both have issues. File for divorce and move on to number 3.
              Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

              I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

              Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

              Comment


              • #8
                re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

                Originally posted by Disagreeable View Post
                It appears you both have issues. File for divorce and move on to number 3.
                So easily said how many do you have? The voice of someone without a heart. Maybe i will get lucky and meet someone like you for number 3 and then i will move on to number 4. Thank You!!!!!!!!!!!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  So easily said how many do you have? The voice of someone without a heart. Maybe i will get lucky and meet someone like you for number 3 and then i will move on to number 4. Thank You!!!!!!!!!!!!
                  I've been with number 1 for over 2 decades.
                  Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

                  I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

                  Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

                    We women have to get over the, "But I can make him change syndrome." And adopt the computer adage, WYSIWYG, "What you see is what you get." If guys did the same thing, "I like and love her. Now, I will change her," we would be highly offended.

                    You invested over 2 years with a guy who just was not a match for you. He has flown the coop, moved on, and you need to do the same -- but now wiser.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

                      Originally posted by Friend In Court View Post
                      We women have to get over the, "But I can make him change syndrome." And adopt the computer adage, WYSIWYG, "What you see is what you get." If guys did the same thing, "I like and love her. Now, I will change her," we would be highly offended.

                      You invested over 2 years with a guy who just was not a match for you. He has flown the coop, moved on, and you need to do the same -- but now wiser.
                      I agree. To many people fail to treat the institute of marriage without enough significance. The one that don't treat relationships with too little significance. Recreational sex is fine with consenting adults, however, you need to know what a serious relationship and a good match is before long term commitments. The first, you make sure no kids are conceived from,
                      Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

                      I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

                      Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

                        If there are children incident to the marriage, abandonment by one parent can ultimately result in loss of parental rights. Each state sets its own length requirements with respect to how long the spouse must be absent before the court will declare the other spouse legally abandoned. Parents who have disappeared from the child's life can lose custody and parental rights upon a finding by the court that the parent has detrimentally affected the child's welfare. In addition, the court can take away parental rights without the consent or presence of the missing parent. It is considered a misdemeanor in many states to leave a child under age 18 with the intent to permanently desert or abandon that child. This crime can apply to a biological parent, custodian or guardian. Seek help from an expert family law attorney.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

                          Hello everyone. The correct thing to do after reading this sad story is to show a little sympathy, heart and understanding for this poor woman. Then to try and give some proper advice. Not lecture her with smug nonsense.

                          I would say to you firstly ignore Disagreeable and others like her. The last thing you need is some silly person trying to be clever. Don't respond. You have enough to deal with. I don't know if you've heard anything from your husband since he left but he sounds like a classic narcissist. Sponging off women. Using you and then spitting you out without a word. No explanation. The silent treatment is typical for a narcissist. If he was going through a midlife crisis and suddenly changed character on hitting 50 then that would be different but from what you say he is lazy, has an unnatural sense of entitlement and expects the women/people to support him. They never invest anything of themselves - emotionally or financially so it's easy for them to just run. He is not a proper person.

                          Look up Sam Vakin - an expert on NPD - narcissist personality disorder. He has made numerous videos on the topic to cover every situation. He is a narcissist himself and the only one who knows it. Highly Intelligent and very knowledgeable on this topic. He has researched it fully and has his own experience of the condition to offer. The information will really help you get insight into your husband, the situation and how to deal with it.
                          I'm really sorry for you. It must be a nightmare - especially with the children. How are you coping now?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

                            I suppose you would also grant her 1 million per year in alimony after a 9 month marriage? ROFLMAO

                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            Hello everyone. The correct thing to do after reading this sad story is to show a little sympathy, heart and understanding for this poor woman. Then to try and give some proper advice. Not lecture her with smug nonsense.

                            I would say to you firstly ignore Disagreeable and others like her. The last thing you need is some silly person trying to be clever. Don't respond. You have enough to deal with. I don't know if you've heard anything from your husband since he left but he sounds like a classic narcissist. Sponging off women. Using you and then spitting you out without a word. No explanation. The silent treatment is typical for a narcissist. If he was going through a midlife crisis and suddenly changed character on hitting 50 then that would be different but from what you say he is lazy, has an unnatural sense of entitlement and expects the women/people to support him. They never invest anything of themselves - emotionally or financially so it's easy for them to just run. He is not a proper person.

                            Look up Sam Vakin - an expert on NPD - narcissist personality disorder. He has made numerous videos on the topic to cover every situation. He is a narcissist himself and the only one who knows it. Highly Intelligent and very knowledgeable on this topic. He has researched it fully and has his own experience of the condition to offer. The information will really help you get insight into your husband, the situation and how to deal with it.
                            I'm really sorry for you. It must be a nightmare - especially with the children. How are you coping now?
                            Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

                            I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

                            Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              re: My husband abandoned me without notice and his personal belongings are still here

                              Originally posted by Disagreeable View Post
                              It appears you both have issues. File for divorce and move on to number 3.
                              Dude why are you even commenting? Are you even married. If you have nothing to say shut the **** up

                              Comment

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