My Parents are looking for divorce, my mother is legally sick. Help please?!

[cloclo]

Hello, I live in New York City. I need advice on behalf of my mother. She is in a abusive marriage as well as I'm involved in it as well. I'm 20 turning 21 and she's 40 my father is 49 years old. My mother is sick with MS (Multiple Sclarosis) and is unable to work, while I'm trying to work but is having severe health problems such as weight loss, I'm told by the doctors that I'm under wieght. My questions is what to do when my father had my mothers name in the tax return, and he refuses to give her money? Secondly, what legal actions my mother and myself take when we have been treathen to be off his benefits and we are not physically able to take care of ourselfs (she's not in a wheelchair nor is she physcially disabled, but the her symptoms is bad enough to take her out of work)? As well as being verbally,Psychologically mentally and emotionally abused both on my mothers and my end? Also we have a house in pennsylvania with both of my parents on th lease, he plans on taking a woman that my mother and I don't agree with taking up to the without her or my consent so he can commit adultery with her there, what can we do so that our things is protected, he banned us from going into the house and he says he don't care what we do? And we have been treatened that he will kill us and everyone involved with us including himself previously at times? Is this premeditated murder? Also we don't have much documents or a recording as proof and our friends and other family members knows our business but want no part of it or show a written document but my fathers side of the family will do it for him. Plus he talks the talk on how much he has dirt on us and were innocent especially me!!! What to do? I'm torned by this but even though I tried to stay out of it, he drags me back in by sayng lies infront of my face when arguing with my mother. And he has an anger issue, we believe it's bipolar, and refuses to get tested or take medication! Btw we live in my grandmother's apartment for now, as we couldn't move just yet.

Please let us know as soon as possible, my mother and I don't know these things, we don't have any money as he is the bread maker of the house. He is a sanitation work and makes a lot of money out of his income and pension and makes about 100,000 each year alone. He looks to retire this year. This relationship has been like this before I was born, and he has a promiscuious life style. Please help, whatever info you guys can give me and any intake on how you feel, rants or simular storys in can help give my mom and I a since of relieve that were not alone. Because we really do feel like it because out business is placed out in the streets, and his boss, family and friends thinks he's right for what he does. Even if it means we have to be placed in the streets, so that he can have another woman or more women up in the house that was supposed to be ours, and money to himself. He's cruel!

Thank you.

[Disagreeable]

Re: My Parents are looking for divorce, my mother is legally sick. Help please?!

You are free to leave. No one is making you stay. If mom would like advice, she is free to come ask.

[AFFA]

Re: My Parents are looking for divorce, my mother is legally sick. Help please?!

I wish to inform you that your mother may file for divorce. She may make a claim for division of property, spousal support, etc. Her claim will be based on the family law of the state of New York as it will have jurisdiction in the matter. In New York, there is a provision for at fault divorce. The court looks at 13 factors in determining the division of the property that was accumulated during the marriage. It also looks at the debts of the parties accumulated during the marriage. The courts generally award equal distribution except in cases of misconduct, etc. If your mother can show with a medical certificate that your medical condition needs support then she may also apply for child support. The court will consider all the facts and decide the matter.

AFF

[Friend In Court]

Re: My Parents are looking for divorce, my mother is legally sick. Help please?!

Hello, I live in New York City. I need advice on behalf of my mother. She is in a abusive marriage as well as I'm involved in it as well. I'm 20 turning 21 and she's 40 my father is 49 years old. My mother is sick with MS (Multiple Sclarosis) and is unable to work, while I'm trying to work but is having severe health problems such as weight loss, I'm told by the doctors that I'm under wieght. My questions is what to do when my father had my mothers name in the tax return, and he refuses to give her money? Secondly, what legal actions my mother and myself take when we have been treathen to be off his benefits and we are not physically able to take care of ourselfs (she's not in a wheelchair nor is she physcially disabled, but the her symptoms is bad enough to take her out of work)? As well as being verbally,Psychologically mentally and emotionally abused both on my mothers and my end? Also we have a house in pennsylvania with both of my parents on th lease, he plans on taking a woman that my mother and I !
don't agree with taking up to the without her or my consent so he can commit adultery with her there, what can we do so that our things is protected, he banned us from going into the house and he says he don't care what we do? And we have been treatened that he will kill us and everyone involved with us including himself previously at times? Is this premeditated murder? Also we don't have much documents or a recording as proof and our friends and other family members knows our business but want no part of it or show a written document but my fathers side of the family will do it for him. Plus he talks the talk on how much he has dirt on us and were innocent especially me!!! What to do? I'm torned by this but even though I tried to stay out of it, he drags me back in by sayng lies infront of my face when arguing with my mother. And he has an anger issue, we believe it's bipolar, and refuses to get tested or take medication! Btw we live in my grandmother's apartment for now, as we couldn't move just yet.

Please let us know as soon as possible, my mother and I don't know these things, we don't have any money as he is the bread maker of the house. He is a sanitation work and makes a lot of money out of his income and pension and makes about 100,000 each year alone. He looks to retire this year. This relationship has been like this before I was born, and he has a promiscuious life style. Please help, whatever info you guys can give me and any intake on how you feel, rants or simular storys in can help give my mom and I a since of relieve that were not alone. Because we really do feel like it because out business is placed out in the streets, and his boss, family and friends thinks he's right for what he does. Even if it means we have to be placed in the streets, so that he can have another woman or more women up in the house that was supposed to be ours, and money to himself. He's cruel!

Thank you.

Your mother is the one to take action by consulting with a divorce lawyer. You can help by gathering up financial and asset information and trying to distance yourself from the emotional aspects of this situation.

The law allows for attorneys fees in divorce cases, too, from the wage earner when the other person has been unemployed or unemployable, so the most important thing is that your mother choose a family law attorney she has confidence in and good rapport.

[cloclo]

Re: My Parents are looking for divorce, my mother is legally sick. Help please?!

Thanks for your support. Sadly I'm turning 21 so there won't be much help on that end for child support. But I'm still looking for a job, many people do not know that it's hard here in New York to look for a job. I don't have much work experience, so that's why people are not hiring me besides I don't have a college degree. Many jobs, yes even simple jobs like administration assisstant and retail stores are buckling down to 6-2 years of experience, 2 year college degree, etc. I never had an opportunity to get to college because my high school I went to did not have SAT's anymore. Plus I wanted to go to college overseas, but I was donwgraded even for that. I want to attend the art institute here in NY but they needed my fathers support. He didn't want to do it, he just wanted me to work, work, work. I only worked at Luna Park, that's not going to support me. I needed a better job, I did one season and that's it. He's obsessed with me working there and it made me become physically unfit and underweight, plus I had to go to the hospital last year when I wasn't covered. I had to take Ensure for sure for nutritional help plus I did not have mdeical or dental insurance. I was 19 at the time. Last year was hell for me. I tried even real estate, it didn't work out. It's depressing, I'm unemployed. I'm trying my very best to survive and work for my own. Because I know the judge will look at this, I have proof in my defense on my part because I was named called using profane words by my own father, I never used profane words. Only a few times when I was young and I was beaten for it. So that's why I have no choice but to fight back for my fuyure. I asked for support not money. As long as I have my family together, I don't care if were poor. I love my family, and I have been disregarded because of my sensitivity. All of that was taken away from me by force. And this experience has made me bitter of men. And I shouldn't. Plus we are not livng comfortable, we are in my grandmothers home. Not ours. He didn't have us move out years ago. So how is it my fault. I worked it was a problem, I can't find a job it's also a problem. It's not fair. I count my blessings, because I could have been in the streets used and abused more. God forbid raped or ended up dead, and have to hear that I needed to be kicked out? Anyway's, thanks to those who contributed. We'll do our best. Hopefully they will come to a agreement and leave me out of it. I had enough of the childish nonsense, it would not be in my house. I'm old school according to people. I don't like this modern nonsense. Plus If I was so lazy , I wouldn't be able to self teach myself Japanese now would I? "Arigatou gozaima****a, minna-san!" (I thank you, everyone!)

[Forum Crew]

Re: My Parents are looking for divorce, my mother is legally sick. Help please?!

AFFA, Don't waste your time with this spoiled brat who is to lazy to get off her butt, get a job and get a life. Her mom and dad have issues. This brat needs to butt out of them. Who gives a crap if you are unhappy who your father screws and where he screws them. Obviously your parents marriage has deteriorated due to her illness. That does not make dad less of a man. Marriage and divorce issues are not your business. If mom wants to talk about the situation, I would be happy to spend all the time she wishes doing so. You are only here trying to continue your freeloading ways.

I find this post offensive and rude. I did not ask for sympathy, I asked for legal advice becauase my mother does not know and neither do I.

Please everyone, follow our forum rules and avoid overall rude behavior, defamatory comments, threatening other members and name calling.

Thank you!

[cloclo]

Re: My Parents are looking for divorce, my mother is legally sick. Help please?!

I wish to inform you that your mother may file for divorce. She may make a claim for division of property, spousal support, etc. Her claim will be based on the family law of the state of New York as it will have jurisdiction in the matter. In New York, there is a provision for at fault divorce. The court looks at 13 factors in determining the division of the property that was accumulated during the marriage. It also looks at the debts of the parties accumulated during the marriage. The courts generally award equal distribution except in cases of misconduct, etc. If your mother can show with a medical certificate that your medical condition needs support then she may also apply for child support. The court will consider all the facts and decide the matter.

AFF

Thank you. I asked for legal advice and you respected me and my mother for following what I have requested thank you very much. I have high respect for you, I did not know all of this. Secondly, I don't think child support will help much because I will be 21. He won't legally have to take care of me unless the court sees that he still does. And she doesn't want to home. We can't pay for the morgage. I say we because the house was supposed to be in my name when they can no longer take care of it. I'm no longer on his beneficalary. (forgive my spelling) So I'm not worrying about money. All I wanted was his love and support as his daughter. Plus. He was the one who said if the world is too tough for me, I can always come back to live with. I know he doesn't mean the things he says, but he goes too far and he will end up being alone if he don't change because it's physically and mentally tearing us down were we a noticably getting sick.

[cloclo]

Re: My Parents are looking for divorce, my mother is legally sick. Help please?!

There is no we in this situation. Mom needs to post for herself if she has a question. You are a superfluous free loader. We will be happy to discuss this issue with mom and attempt to explore her legal options as well as provide council on how to fix her marriage if she wishes.

Excuse me! But I'm NOT LAZY and I am NOT a freeloader. You call this professional and you got the nerve to saying blatant lies about me? You don't know me nor my situation. You have the gall to disrespect me on a public community, and have no regard to what I had asked. You are unprofessional in my book, and I am not a going to tolerate such accusations any further, yet you call yourself an adult. Your childish complaints is none of my concern and neither is my mothers concern. She has read your post and she is not satisfied with your answers. How dare you come on hear and speak to me about me being lazy. For your information I have worked, recieved great respect, top ratings and the first on the list. I worked over time and still helped out my family. I looked for work over a year, and I am not well myself, just got back on my fathers health insurance so that I can recieve proper treatment. I'm underweight almost anerexic, have cyst in my chest from my last surgery, asthma and malnitritioned! I'm sick just as well, and you have the nerve to advocate for my father? Who called me a b****? Who told me "You can die out in the f**** street you f**** b****?!" Who tried to put his hands on me multiple times but didn't think God. And just last night he treathen to kill himself, we had to call state police up to PA while my mother and I is in NY.

How dare you to tell me, your the one being a child. And just because I'm 20 does'nt mean I have to tolerate such childish and ignorant behavor. Like my mother said, your just jealous because I have a family who is willing to accept me regardless of what the future may bring.I'm always welcome home! You never had that opportunity, according to your replies. And you think I can't see your being a snake in the grass trying to take advantage of me?

And by the way buddy. Not everybody is able to get a college degree and move out of their parents nest at 18, I'm not stupid. And second of all "Haste makes watse", and it takes a lot of patience to get very far in life. You rush you screwed everything up. I asked for legal advice and you disregard for what I had asked number one. Number two you have the gall to lie, downgrade me online publically, and you get away with it? I don't think so. I have nothing else to say to you. Nor do I have respect for you. You were asked to be polite. And you want to break rules and do what you want to do. Childish. You want act like one, you going to be treated like one. End of discussion. Now that is being an adult.

[Forum Crew]

Re: My Parents are looking for divorce, my mother is legally sick. Help please?!

The following message was sent to our forum administrators:

I'm having a problem with this user called "Disagreeable", and I need to body to straigten this guy out. He's rude, and is expoiting and downgrade me online, and is not compliying to what you have ask for everyone in my forum post to do. Please speak with this user... This is not a place for arguements or irrelevent feedback.

Please everyone, follow our forum rules and avoid overall rude behavior and defamatory comments.

[Friend In Court]

Re: My Parents are looking for divorce, my mother is legally sick. Help please?!

Thanks for your support. Sadly I'm turning 21 so there won't be much help on that end for child support. But I'm still looking for a job, many people do not know that it's hard here in New York to look for a job. I don't have much work experience, so that's why people are not hiring me besides I don't have a college degree. Many jobs, yes even simple jobs like administration assisstant and retail stores are buckling down to 6-2 years of experience, 2 year college degree, etc. I never had an opportunity to get to college because my high school I went to did not have SAT's anymore. Plus I wanted to go to college overseas, but I was donwgraded even for that. I want to attend the art institute here in NY but they needed my fathers support. He didn't want to do it, he just wanted me to work, work, work. I only worked at Luna Park, that's not going to support me. I needed a better job, I did one season and that's it. He's obsessed with me working there and it made me become physically unfit and underweight, plus I had to go to the hospital last year when I wasn't covered. I had to take Ensure for sure for nutritional help plus I did not have mdeical or dental insurance. I was 19 at the time. Last year was hell for me. I tried even real estate, it didn't work out. It's depressing, I'm unemployed. I'm trying my very best to survive and work for my own. Because I know the judge will look at this, I have proof in my defense on my part because I was named called using profane words by my own father, I never used profane words. Only a few times when I was young and I was beaten for it. So that's why I have no choice but to fight back for my fuyure. I asked for support not money. As long as I have my family together, I don't care if were poor. I love my family, and I have been disregarded because of my sensitivity. All of that was taken away from me by force. And this experience has made me bitter of men. And I shouldn't. Plus we are not livng comfortable, we are in my grandmothers home. Not ours. He didn't have us move out years ago. So how is it my fault. I worked it was a problem, I can't find a job it's also a problem. It's not fair. I count my blessings, because I could have been in the streets used and abused more. God forbid raped or ended up dead, and have to hear that I needed to be kicked out? Anyway's, thanks to those who contributed. We'll do our best. Hopefully they will come to a agreement and leave me out of it. I had enough of the childish nonsense, it would not be in my house. I'm old school according to people. I don't like this modern nonsense. Plus If I was so lazy , I wouldn't be able to self teach myself Japanese now would I? "Arigatou gozaima****a, minna-san!" (I thank you, everyone!)

I can identify with what it's like looking for a job in NY. I was there in 2008 when over 65,000 on Wall Street were laid off and six figure earners were dumbing down their resumesfor $10.00 an hour jobs.

You are to be commended for sticking by your mom when she is sick. Stick in there, for you come across as intelligent, determined, principled -- and these are qualities an employer looks for. If it's being a barrista for awhile, retail helping someone pick out that perfect pair of jeans, I bet you'd take it and do a bang up job.

Nothing last forever. It's the challenges life dishes out that makes us competent. Your mother has reason to be proud of you.