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  • Unsure of the law...

    I will try my best to be as descriptive with my scenario, in hopes that someone knows New Jersey child support law. I was in a relationship 5 years ago and got a girl pregnant. We never considered paternity. She moved out while I was away. She moved back to New Jersey with her very rich family. I emptied my savings to pay a cash retainer fee of $2000.00 to a lawyer, which my mother had suggested was good at his job (she heard from a friend of a friend). Short story, he ran off with the money a few days later, and I was unable to find him... I have been going through tough financial times the past 5 years and have been unable to take any legal action to try and do anything. The woman's mother even called me to tell me to not even try anything legal, because she would make it a tens of thousands of dollar battle because I would have to fly to New Jersey for court dates and pay out of state lawyer fees. It has been very rough on me emotionally and I finally have come to a point where I have accepted what has happened. Unless I somehow obtain a large amount of money, it will be a long long time until I can even begin to fight for any of my rights... The woman and her mother sent me a letter to tell me to move on and forget the child. They even called it a "free pass", which made my stomach turn. Now that time has calmed me down and I am newly married, I have now begun to fear the possibility of delayed back support. Is it possible for the mother to wait 17 years and come after me for all that money? There is no court order for support, I am not on the birth certificate, and I have emails where the mother refuses to get a paternity test. She fears that I will be able to go after her for visitation. She knows that I will gladly pay support, and that I just want to see my child.

    Sorry for the long explanation, but I felt it necessary to give all the details in hope that it would give me the best answer. Remember that the child now lives in New Jersey.

  • #2
    re: Unsure of the law...

    Nope, generally a court will only award back support for a child to the day of filing unless the mom collected social services to raise the child. Once she turns 18 and graduates highschool, it should be too late to come back and try and get an order to pay for college. At this point, ignoring any attempt at process from NJ if it comes via mail is best. If your daughter wants to see you, it will be when the child is an adult and you find them or they find you on social media.
    Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

    I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

    Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Disagreeable
      Nope, generally a court will only award back support for a child to the day of filing unless the mom collected social services to raise the child. Once she turns 18 and graduates highschool, it should be too late to come back and try and get an order to pay for college. At this point, ignoring any attempt at process from NJ if it comes via mail is best. If your daughter wants to see you, it will be when the child is an adult and you find them or they find you on social media.
      NJ does order retroactive support in limited circumstances. One of those is if the non-custodial parent works to avoid the obligation.

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      • #4
        re: Unsure of the law...

        Which by his story he has not done.

        Originally posted by goddessoflubboc
        NJ does order retroactive support in limited circumstances. One of those is if the non-custodial parent works to avoid the obligation.
        Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

        I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

        Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

        Comment


        • #5
          re: Unsure of the law...

          Until paternity is established, the father has no legal rights to the child, nor any legal obligations. Therefore, most Judges will only give the mother child support from the date the Petition is filed. Contact an attorney for detailed advice.

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          • #6
            re: Unsure of the law...

            Thank you for all the responses. They help to assure me and I will surely talk to a lawyer. I just wanted to check here first for answers, which helped.

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