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I want to move. Can I take my daughter?

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  • I want to move. Can I take my daughter?

    So long story short my daughter is 7. Her mother and I were never married and were together until my daughter was 3. At age 5 her mother decided to move an hour north and just dropped off my daughter. Since then my daughter has lived with me (almost 4 years). Her mother only sees her every other weekend. There is no custody agreement besides my daughter living with me for the last 3 years. Her mother pays no child support and never has.

    I have been looking for a job in my specific field for 4 years. I finally landed my dream teaching job in another state. I want to take my daughter obviously but want to make sure I'm okay to go. From what I have researched I can leave but she can get an emergency order to stop me. Her mother is a total flake and is barely interested in her daughter. Couldn't I tell her the day of moving so she can't stop me (she would just to spite me) tell file in my new state?

    I am a college educated man making low 20s. This new job would be a 12k raise. I feel it would better my daughter's life. I'm hoping eventually the courts would agree.

  • #2
    Re: I want to move. Can I take my daughter?

    I wish to inform you that if mother will not agree to change of state then you may have court order for change of state. If you change state without mothers consent or court order then mother may allege parental kidnapping. Court considers best interest of child and you may argue that it is in best interest of child that you should have better employment opportunity so that you can better upkeep your child.

    AFF

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    • #3
      Re: I want to move. Can I take my daughter?

      If there is no court ordered visitation and she has left the child to you, taking the child and leaving can benefit you or backfire on you. If you establish new residence, normally 6 months, you can file for support and custody with the new state as the status quo. The ball will be in your park. Ifshe files before that, you can be forced to return and fight for the permission to take her. Keeping your job may mean giving her the child in that case.
      Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

      I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

      Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

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      • #4
        Re: I want to move. Can I take my daughter?

        Originally posted by cincysvt View Post
        So long story short my daughter is 7. Her mother and I were never married and were together until my daughter was 3. At age 5 her mother decided to move an hour north and just dropped off my daughter. Since then my daughter has lived with me (almost 4 years). Her mother only sees her every other weekend. There is no custody agreement besides my daughter living with me for the last 3 years. Her mother pays no child support and never has.

        I have been looking for a job in my specific field for 4 years. I finally landed my dream teaching job in another state. I want to take my daughter obviously but want to make sure I'm okay to go. From what I have researched I can leave but she can get an emergency order to stop me. Her mother is a total flake and is barely interested in her daughter. Couldn't I tell her the day of moving so she can't stop me (she would just to spite me) tell file in my new state?

        I am a college educated man making low 20s. This new job would be a 12k raise. I feel it would better my daughter's life. I'm hoping eventually the courts would agree.
        You would be petitioning the court for full custody, after proving paternity which you will have to do by court ordered DNA testing, and for permission to move from the state. Visitation by the mother would also be addressed as well as support, even if nominal.

        Yes, she COULD stop you from moving from the state with her child. She by default is the only parent the child has in the eyes of the law because she gave birth to her. You, on the other hand have not established you are in fact the father. Because the two of you were not married. She could allege parental kidnapping and you could end up in a heap of unwanted trouble.

        My recommendation is that you consult with a family law attorney, or Legal Aid if you qualify, to file for paternity, custody, visitation in the mother, support and for permission to leave the state.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I want to move. Can I take my daughter?

          In the absence of a court order which establishes custody and visitation, you probably could move out of state. However, that might not be the best move, as paternity is not established. Further, she can file a petition for child custody that may stop you from moving out of state with the child and as soon as there is an order in place you'll need to get permission the court before any change of residence. Therefore contact an attorney as soon as possible and file for sole visitation in the Court. Simultaneously file a petition to establish Paternity.

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