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  • Casual encounter ad postings and child custody

    I'm a father of a 16 year old daughter and have raised her for 95% of her life with full custody. Two years ago her mom and my daughter wanted 5050 custody and her mom had been fightingn for this for years. Because my daughter was 14 and wanted it I allowed it to happen but was worries. I had full custody because her mom has a history of problems and lost custody of all her kids at one point totally 4 and mine was the oldest. Recently my daughter came to me now 16 and said she wants nothing to do with her mom. Her mom screams and yells throws things all the time. Constantly calls her a **** and stup and treats her like Cinderella and has grounded her for a year and a half. She has so many chores taking care of her now 5 half siblings and mom and boyfriend that she often doesn't have time for home work. My daughter is constantly dealing with verbal abuse. Come to find out her mom was letting my daughter sleep with her boyfriend at age 14 and was talking her over to his house to stay the night on several occasions. She did this to befriend her not parent her and manipulate our daughter to want 5050. My daughter regrets this and tells me she wishes her mom would just be a mom to her and she knows now her mom was wrong letting her sleep with her boyfriend and that se manipulated her. For the last year and a half my daughter wanted to come home to me full time like before and was always coming home in tears because of how her mother treats her screaming yelling at her and breaking things and recently hitting her now.

    On my side my daughter has always had a loving home and 100% issue free. I am though not a perfect person but always treat my daughter right. I suffered many night form lonelyness and turned to craigslsit for comfort and posted for causal encounters looking for a **** buddy and just that not ever bringing anyone around my daughter. Somehow my daughters mom found out and started emailing me pretending to be other girls. Of course anyone posting online for something like that is never going to be honest. My background is kn marking and Advertisig and I'm really good at it and understand prospecting and the moments game. So over a period of a couple years I posted lots and lots of ads. Not getting the response I wanted so I know form marking u have to do something to stand out above the rest. I started postin ads for Fwb roomie wanted or ads for **** buddy baby sitter and even a male escourt but was clear because of legally it was only for my time nothing sexual because didn't want to break the law. All my ads I played along with my fantasy roll play to try and meet a woman. I ended up meeting a few woman and when I meet them I was always clear about my real situation and I'd never actually being anyone around my children. I also have a 1 year old with a gf that's super sweet and innocent but we don't live together and we don't have an intramural relarionship but have a very good healthy relationship as civil adults and parents. So because of my crazy ads and her mom pertinent to be someone else she's convinced I'm a bad parent and would actually bring a girl around my children and follow through with all this. I have three friends one a cop one a doctor and one a salesman. All known me most my life and knew about my ads all along. I have three male friends and that's it and they are the only ones ever around my daughter and son and gf that I'm on and off with. I did have a Roomie recently and said online I did have her as a Fwb but it wasn't true and said to people repaknding they could even talk tk her so they know in not crazy. I knot said this to make them feel comfortable. I have proof she paid rent for a year and she will also confirm it was never a Fwb . I have my friend willing to testify that I would never do this. I also have my 16 year old daughter that wants to talk to the courts and tell them herself how horrible her mother is. She will also be able to confirm no woman have ever been around her except the few I have dated over the last 16 years. I created a mess but I'm afraid this could really blow up in the wrong way. I'm a good father and always kept my personal adult sex life private form my children. Any advice? I'm going to court in 3 weeks and all this sex ads will come out and I'm not shy or embarrass about my sex life. I have done anything and everything sexual u can think of and even been in orgies with lots of hot young college girls. But My daughter never knew and or suspected and my sex life was when she was always gone. Everyone has sex. Her mom thought it to be appropriate to tell our daughter that I post sex ads online on craigslsit also. Her mom goes tok far and is totally ruining her. Always I keep my private sex lofe away form my children but because of my crazy ads my daughters mom thinks I ilinvoove them even though my daughter can say it's not true and so will several other people that know me well enough. My three guy friends know ever single detail about my sex life and it's always stayed away from my children as any adult should do. Any advice on if I should be worried about loosing custody?

  • #2
    Re: Casual encounter ad postings and child custody

    Originally posted by Garywarner View Post
    I'm a father of a 16 year old daughter and have raised her for 95% of her life with full custody. Two years ago her mom and my daughter wanted 5050 custody and her mom had been fightingn for this for years. Because my daughter was 14 and wanted it I allowed it to happen but was worries. I had full custody because her mom has a history of problems and lost custody of all her kids at one point totally 4 and mine was the oldest. Recently my daughter came to me now 16 and said she wants nothing to do with her mom. Her mom screams and yells throws things all the time. Constantly calls her a **** and stup and treats her like Cinderella and has grounded her for a year and a half. She has so many chores taking care of her now 5 half siblings and mom and boyfriend that she often doesn't have time for home work. My daughter is constantly dealing with verbal abuse. Come to find out her mom was letting my daughter sleep with her boyfriend at age 14 and was talking her over to his house to stay the night on several occasions. She did this to befriend her not parent her and manipulate our daughter to want 5050. My daughter regrets this and tells me she wishes her mom would just be a mom to her and she knows now her mom was wrong letting her sleep with her boyfriend and that se manipulated her. For the last year and a half my daughter wanted to come home to me full time like before and was always coming home in tears because of how her mother treats her screaming yelling at her and breaking things and recently hitting her now.

    On my side my daughter has always had a loving home and 100% issue free. I am though not a perfect person but always treat my daughter right. I suffered many night form lonelyness and turned to craigslsit for comfort and posted for causal encounters looking for a **** buddy and just that not ever bringing anyone around my daughter. Somehow my daughters mom found out and started emailing me pretending to be other girls. Of course anyone posting online for something like that is never going to be honest. My background is kn marking and Advertisig and I'm really good at it and understand prospecting and the moments game. So over a period of a couple years I posted lots and lots of ads. Not getting the response I wanted so I know form marking u have to do something to stand out above the rest. I started postin ads for Fwb roomie wanted or ads for **** buddy baby sitter and even a male escourt but was clear because of legally it was only for my time nothing sexual because didn't want to break the law. All my ads I played along with my fantasy roll play to try and meet a woman. I ended up meeting a few woman and when I meet them I was always clear about my real situation and I'd never actually being anyone around my children. I also have a 1 year old with a gf that's super sweet and innocent but we don't live together and we don't have an intramural relarionship but have a very good healthy relationship as civil adults and parents. So because of my crazy ads and her mom pertinent to be someone else she's convinced I'm a bad parent and would actually bring a girl around my children and follow through with all this. I have three friends one a cop one a doctor and one a salesman. All known me most my life and knew about my ads all along. I have three male friends and that's it and they are the only ones ever around my daughter and son and gf that I'm on and off with. I did have a Roomie recently and said online I did have her as a Fwb but it wasn't true and said to people repaknding they could even talk tk her so they know in not crazy. I knot said this to make them feel comfortable. I have proof she paid rent for a year and she will also confirm it was never a Fwb . I have my friend willing to testify that I would never do this. I also have my 16 year old daughter that wants to talk to the courts and tell them herself how horrible her mother is. She will also be able to confirm no woman have ever been around her except the few I have dated over the last 16 years. I created a mess but I'm afraid this could really blow up in the wrong way. I'm a good father and always kept my personal adult sex life private form my children. Any advice? I'm going to court in 3 weeks and all this sex ads will come out and I'm not shy or embarrass about my sex life. I have done anything and everything sexual u can think of and even been in orgies with lots of hot young college girls. But My daughter never knew and or suspected and my sex life was when she was always gone. Everyone has sex. Her mom thought it to be appropriate to tell our daughter that I post sex ads online on craigslsit also. Her mom goes tok far and is totally ruining her. Always I keep my private sex lofe away form my children but because of my crazy ads my daughters mom thinks I ilinvoove them even though my daughter can say it's not true and so will several other people that know me well enough. My three guy friends know ever single detail about my sex life and it's always stayed away from my children as any adult should do. Any advice on if I should be worried about loosing custody?
    I think you BOTH have enough issues to question the other's ability to parent this child.

    The child's mother seems to always have had issues with how to parent ANY child. She doesn't seem to know how to appropriately discipline the child, and she is more interested in being her child's friend than her parent. Much of that can be attributed to her lack of parenting skills, which could have been addressed with parenting classes. Now that your daughter is 16 years old, the damage is already don. There isn't much that can help the daughter now except for some good, solid counseling along with a strong, positive role model. The best thing you can do for her now is to get her those things.

    Speaking of strong, positive role models, I'm sorry, but someone who seeks casual sexual encounters over the internet is so far off base, it's not even funny. We only have YOUR word that you've never brought your rampant promiscuity home where your child could ever be exposed to it, but it's bound to happen - especially NOW that your child is older. The fact that you seek frequent intimate sexual contact from anonymous strangers speaks to your own issues with intimacy and forming and maintaining solid and lasting interpersonal relationships. That's definitely going to carry over into any kind of dealings you have with your family members, including your daughter. That kind of behavior also reflects badly on you as a parent, and could definitely affect any possibility of you regaining custody of your child because it brings into question your stability.

    Understand that I'm not trying to judge here. All of these points can easily be argued between the two of you in your fight for custody over this child. If you're looking for something that will help you in that battle? I would suggest cutting out the casual sexual encounters. Not only does that look exceptionally bad for you in court, it can have disastrous results for you personally. I shouldn't have to tell you what the potential ramifications could be, but disease and unwanted pregnancies are two very obvious things that could happen.

    My best advice? If you don't already have a good family attorney, GET ONE.
    "If it ain't in writing, it never happened."
    "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
    "You can never make the same mistake twice, because the second time you make it, it's not a mistake, but a CHOICE."

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    • #3
      Re: Casual encounter ad postings and child custody

      I wish to inform you that the mother may bring up all the matters related to your postings on Craigslist and other forum. The burden of proof in the court will be on you to show that your private personal life was always kept separate from your life as a father of a young daughter and a baby son. Your friends and daughter may give evidence in your support. You may also provide testimony as to your character from a religious teacher or social worker. Your daughter may also state her preference to stay with you and how her education suffers in the mother's house. The court always considers the best interests of the child. The court will consider all the facts and decide the matter.

      AFF

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