State of IN child custody/parental rights can be revoked???

[phobbs]

I was never married to my daughter's father, but his name is on the birth certificate. He left when she was three months old. When she was 2, I filed for child support. He retaliated by telling me that unless I drop the suit for support, he would sue for custody. He got a lawyer by lying and smearing my name. (After mediation, and court, I received a certified letter from his lawyer that he would no longer represent my ex.) He trying to get full custody, then joint custody, but was awarded supervised visitation rights when she was three. He was to comply the the schedule for a full 9 months before being allowed to have her every other weekend. After 4 months or sporadically seeing her, his (now ex) wife filed for divorce and received a restraining order against him. He has not been back in her life, by his choice. It has been over six years since. No calls, no letters, no nothing, until last week. I replied to his phone call, via email questioning why he was calling me. Now he says not being a father to her has been a big regret, wants to know what she knows about him and wants to reestablish visitation.... as well as let me know that he wants to go back to school for his master's degree and won't be able to make the bi-weekly support payments (which have always come on time due to auto withdrawal from his work). He notified me again just after Christmas that since he hasn't heard from me in a week, he expects me to contact him in the next two days or he will be in touch with a lawyer friend of his and drop by my house in order to speak to me.

What do I do now? My husband (whom I've been with and has been a father to my daughter for 7 years) wishes to adopt her, but my ex had refused consent every time it had been mentioned. Do I need to go back to court for him to reestablish visitation rights? After 6 years of no contact, can he still get visitation rights?Do I need a lawyer? Can I file a petition to have my daughter adopted by my husband without my ex's consent?

What is a cordial but brief and to the point way of responding to my ex stating that he is not welcome to come near my home (due to previous transgressions, such as stealing our car and home keys and cutting our outside phone line), that trying to reestablish visitation rights after so many years would be detrimental to my daughter's emotional and psychological well being and that we would like for him to relinquish any rights he may have left (at this point does he even have any?) and consent to adoption.

[goddessoflubboc]

Re: State of IN child custody/parental rights can be revoked???

Yes he still has rights, they don't evaporate away over time.

I would strongly urge you to discuss this with a family law attorney. At the very least a new set of introductory, supervised visits will need to be requested from the court.

One generally continues to work while obtaining a Masters Degree. His obligation to support his child will not end bc he's taking classes.

[Friend In Court]

Re: State of IN child custody/parental rights can be revoked???

I was never married to my daughter's father, but his name is on the birth certificate. He left when she was three months old. When she was 2, I filed for child support. He retaliated by telling me that unless I drop the suit for support, he would sue for custody. He got a lawyer by lying and smearing my name. (After mediation, and court, I received a certified letter from his lawyer that he would no longer represent my ex.) He trying to get full custody, then joint custody, but was awarded supervised visitation rights when she was three. He was to comply the the schedule for a full 9 months before being allowed to have her every other weekend. After 4 months or sporadically seeing her, his (now ex) wife filed for divorce and received a restraining order against him. He has not been back in her life, by his choice. It has been over six years since. No calls, no letters, no nothing, until last week. I replied to his phone call, via email questioning why he was calling me. Now he says not being a father to her has been a big regret, wants to know what she knows about him and wants to reestablish visitation.... as well as let me know that he wants to go back to school for his master's degree and won't be able to make the bi-weekly support payments (which have always come on time due to auto withdrawal from his work). He notified me again just after Christmas that since he hasn't heard from me in a week, he expects me to contact him in the next two days or he will be in touch with a lawyer friend of his and drop by my house in order to speak to me.

What do I do now? My husband (whom I've been with and has been a father to my daughter for 7 years) wishes to adopt her, but my ex had refused consent every time it had been mentioned. Do I need to go back to court for him to reestablish visitation rights? After 6 years of no contact, can he still get visitation rights?Do I need a lawyer? Can I file a petition to have my daughter adopted by my husband without my ex's consent?

What is a cordial but brief and to the point way of responding to my ex stating that he is not welcome to come near my home (due to previous transgressions, such as stealing our car and home keys and cutting our outside phone line), that trying to reestablish visitation rights after so many years would be detrimental to my daughter's emotional and psychological well being and that we would like for him to relinquish any rights he may have left (at this point does he even have any?) and consent to adoption.

Yes, it would be wise to consult with an experienced family law attorney at this point time since you are facing the spectre of a court battle with this man.

As to stepparent adoption, that is impossible without the bio father's consent. He would have to voluntarily surrender his parental rights. You are the best judge of whether or not he would be open to that at this time.

A restraining order against contact would be wise in light of the damage he has done so far. Whatever his motives, unless there is a court order to modify visitation, he is still entitled to his visitation rights. That would necessitate visitation being modified since he could not come to your home to pick up and leave off.

He is just blowing smoke about moving to change custody for his chances are slim to nil -- like zip point zero. For a man who has had no contact with a child for years to all of a sudden expect a judge to pass her off to him like an inanimate carnival prize is ludicrous. He is a virtual stranger to the child, anyway, for his not having had any contact with her during these past half dozen years.

He will not be able to avoid paying support for his child, however. If the order was made years ago as it appears, it is ripe to be modified upward -- due to the child's age and increased needs. If he wants to be a perpetual student that is his choice. But his child should not suffer.

You have enough issues and needs to consult a family law attorney to have the custody/visitation/ support decree modified as it sorely needs to be.