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Is it theft if ex takes daughters phone if step dad sends texts?

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  • Is it theft if ex takes daughters phone if step dad sends texts?

    My ex took my daughters phone from her while in his care because her step dad sent her a text. I have purchased this phone because I would not have "reasonable phone access" to her if I didn't.

    Also, I have called the state police over and over explaining in detail that my ex is drinking and driving with my daughter in the car. I told them where he was and they did nothing. Does she have to get hurt before something is done? What is wrong with the state of PA?

  • #2
    Re: Is it theft if ex takes daughters phone if step dad sends texts?

    Did you have a valid question or want to rant? Yes, dad can take away his daughters phone. You do not need access to her at dads.
    Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

    I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

    Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Is it theft if ex takes daughters phone if step dad sends texts?

      Originally posted by knjpluse View Post
      My ex took my daughters phone from her while in his care because her step dad sent her a text. I have purchased this phone because I would not have "reasonable phone access" to her if I didn't.

      Also, I have called the state police over and over explaining in detail that my ex is drinking and driving with my daughter in the car. I told them where he was and they did nothing. Does she have to get hurt before something is done? What is wrong with the state of PA?
      This sounds like a power struggle to me. If your ex is taking the phone away for your daughter communicating with your husband while on dad's time, there is clearly an imbalance in place. Was the communication necessary? Do you and your husband frequently contact your daughter while she's visiting her dad?

      As for the drinking and driving, unless your ex is physically impaired to the point where he is a danger behind the wheel, the police can do nothing about it. Just calling them when he has been drinking sounds a little overboard to me. How exactly do you know that he's been drinking and how much alcohol he has consumed? Are you using your daughter to spy on him for you so that she can report back when he's been drinking? Do you know if your ex has a problem with alcohol to the point where he's actually alcoholic, or are you just nitpicking about him having a drink while having your child in his care?

      What's the real story here? Because I think we are getting only the parts you think will get people to side with you. There's definitely more going on here than what's being said so far.
      "If it ain't in writing, it never happened."
      "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
      "You can never make the same mistake twice, because the second time you make it, it's not a mistake, but a CHOICE."

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by sandyclaus View Post
        This sounds like a power struggle to me. If your ex is taking the phone away for your daughter communicating with your husband while on dad's time, there is clearly an imbalance in place. Was the communication necessary? Do you and your husband frequently contact your daughter while she's visiting her dad?

        As for the drinking and driving, unless your ex is physically impaired to the point where he is a danger behind the wheel, the police can do nothing about it. Just calling them when he has been drinking sounds a little overboard to me. How exactly do you know that he's been drinking and how much alcohol he has consumed? Are you using your daughter to spy on him for you so that she can report back when he's been drinking? Do you know if your ex has a problem with alcohol to the point where he's actually alcoholic, or are you just nitpicking about him having a drink while having your child in his care?

        What's the real story here? Because I think we are getting only the parts you think will get people to side with you. There's definitely more going on here than what's being said so far.
        I'm an certainly not asking her to spy BUT I am asking her to be aware of how much he drinks and then gets behind the wheel with her in the vehicle! It seems as though in this state it's ok to drink and drive and I won't have it when it concerns my daughter. Yes, I do ask her if he was drinking and if by him having at least 5 beers a day is considered "normal" here, then I truly need to get out of here.
        I purchased the phone for her because he was not allowing me to contact her....I call at the same time each night to say goodnight. Plus, I have this to her in case she does not feel comfortable getting in the car with him. He takes MY phone away and denies me access when her step father sends her messages. There is no hidden meaning there. This is all absurd thinking he truly can get away with both of these acts! BTW: the message that was sent was a congratulations on her 1st grade graduation since it was on his time.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Disagreeable View Post
          Did you have a valid question or want to rant? Yes, dad can take away his daughters phone. You do not need access to her at dads.
          Court order states "reasonable phone access". I will not be denied this because he chooses to throw a fit about who contacts her! Are you seriously telling me that when she is in his care I should not have Any access to her?

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Is it theft if ex takes daughters phone if step dad sends texts?

            Originally posted by knjpluse View Post
            Court order states "reasonable phone access". I will not be denied this because he chooses to throw a fit about who contacts her! Are you seriously telling me that when she is in his care I should not have Any access to her?
            Reasonable, is not all day. So you are asking a 1st grader to medically evaluate dads fitness for driving and calculate his alcohol consumption? Really? I would take the phone away also. If you feel you have any valid complaints, address them in court. Putting the minor child in a position of being the heavy against her father will not be looked upon favorably by the court.
            Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

            I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

            Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Is it theft if ex takes daughters phone if step dad sends texts?

              I grew up in an intact family, but my mother constantly bad-mouthed my father and put me in the middle of things. My dad would say that's just your mom. You can guess I was much closer to my dad, and when he died I moved 2,000 miles to get away from her.

              You face this future OP if you don't learn to coparent. Children remember and they do NOT like being hall monitors for their parents!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Disagreeable View Post
                Reasonable, is not all day. So you are asking a 1st grader to medically evaluate dads fitness for driving and calculate his alcohol consumption? Really? I would take the phone away also. If you feel you have any valid complaints, address them in court. Putting the minor child in a position of being the heavy against her father will not be looked upon favorably by the court.
                I call her one time to say goodnight. I never ask her to monitor his and his drinking. I ask that she be aware of his drinking since he is driving with her after. I cannot believe I am being made out to be the bad person here. She is consistently put in danger every weekend and I'm the bad guy. Unbelievable....

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by goddessoflubboc View Post
                  I grew up in an intact family, but my mother constantly bad-mouthed my father and put me in the middle of things. My dad would say that's just your mom. You can guess I was much closer to my dad, and when he died I moved 2,000 miles to get away from her.

                  You face this future OP if you don't learn to coparent. Children remember and they do NOT like being hall monitors for their parents!
                  I'm not, by any means, asking her to monitor him. I'm letting her know that her father may have a severe problem that could possible harm her. I cannot believe these responses. You are seriously condoning his behavior.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Is it theft if ex takes daughters phone if step dad sends texts?

                    No one is condoning his behavior. We are basing our responses on what you say is happening. Her stepfather should not be texting her all the time either.
                    Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

                    I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

                    Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Is it theft if ex takes daughters phone if step dad sends texts?

                      I'm not condoning anyone's actions - I don't know any of you.

                      Here's what I do know - you are asking a 7 year old child to monitor the alcohol intake of her parent. Then " Plus, I have this to her in case she does not feel comfortable getting in the car with him. ". So now you are putting the seed in her head that she's not safe with dad.

                      Well the courts, the cops, and CPS (because you certainly had them investigate with such grievous charges) all found the situation to be safe.

                      I strongly urge you to seek psychological counseling at least for your child. She/he is the one being damaged. Instead of being excited to go spend time with dad she's made to feel scared, apprehensive, and like she's got to be the grown up. That's a lot to put on tiny shoulders. It will come back to haunt you.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Disagreeable View Post
                        No one is condoning his behavior. We are basing our responses on what you say is happening. Her stepfather should not be texting her all the time either.
                        He doesn't. It was a special occasion regarding her last day of school.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by goddessoflubboc View Post
                          I'm not condoning anyone's actions - I don't know any of you.

                          Here's what I do know - you are asking a 7 year old child to monitor the alcohol intake of her parent. Then " Plus, I have this to her in case she does not feel comfortable getting in the car with him. ". So now you are putting the seed in her head that she's not safe with dad.

                          Well the courts, the cops, and CPS (because you certainly had them investigate with such grievous charges) all found the situation to be safe.

                          I strongly urge you to seek psychological counseling at least for your child. She/he is the one being damaged. Instead of being excited to go spend time with dad she's made to feel scared, apprehensive, and like she's got to be the grown up. That's a lot to put on tiny shoulders. It will come back to haunt you.
                          Having my daughter aware if her surroundings and actions of others around her that could potentially harm her is by no means negative. It does not matter how old you are or who you are with. If someone is doing something that could harm you....LIKE...drinking and driving on a regular basis then I would rather her be prepared than hurt! This forum is really not what I expected. I was asking for advise and all I get is an attitude back because I'm concerned for my daughter. Do YOU think it's ok to drink with your kid in the car? Unreal!!!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Is it theft if ex takes daughters phone if step dad sends texts?

                            Originally posted by knjpluse View Post
                            He doesn't. It was a special occasion regarding her last day of school.
                            You need to be careful how you phrase thing otherwise the responses you receive will be different. So we will go with dad is mad that you are probing into his drinking. He also wants his parent time to be undisturbed. Try for cell phone call at bedtime to say goodnight. Try to negotiate an agreement with dad for him to take a portable breathalyzer before driving, when she is there. They cost $30 and display the number.
                            Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

                            I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

                            Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Disagreeable View Post
                              You need to be careful how you phrase thing otherwise the responses you receive will be different. So we will go with dad is mad that you are probing into his drinking. He also wants his parent time to be undisturbed. Try for cell phone call at bedtime to say goodnight. Try to negotiate an agreement with dad for him to take a portable breathalyzer before driving, when she is there. They cost $30 and display the number.
                              Thank you. I have heard of this. Do I need to ask my attorney to get him to do it or do I just ask my ex?

                              Comment

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