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sole custody... do i have to let her father see her?

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  • sole custody... do i have to let her father see her?

    I have gotten sole custody of my daughter, and I was wondering if I have to let her father see her? we don't have any visition set in place and its on agreed apon parties. the reason is she is scared of him, screams when she is with him, he only spends about an hour with her. and the last time he saw her was about a year ago and now he wants to see her. im thinking its not fair to her that she is in and out of her life

  • #2
    Originally posted by agbajb
    I have gotten sole custody of my daughter, and I was wondering if I have to let her father see her? we don't have any visition set in place and its on agreed apon parties. the reason is she is scared of him, screams when she is with him, he only spends about an hour with her. and the last time he saw her was about a year ago and now he wants to see her. im thinking its not fair to her that she is in and out of her life
    That depends on how much you enjoy having your child living with you.

    So, the court order says visitation as agreed between the parties? That means YES, you MUST let him see the child. It also means that the court is giving the two of you the opportunity to communicate and cooperate like adults before stepping in and making specific orders for visitation scheduling.

    So, the question remains as to why is this child so scared to be around their father? Why are you more willing to play into her fears than calm her and encourage her to get more comfortable with him? This man will be her father for the rest of her life. It's time YOU learned that and started teaching your daughter that very important fact.

    Of course, if you refuse to allow the father access to the child and continue to try and alienate him from her, I'm sure that the court would reconsider the current custody arrangements and perhaps even grant him custody to allow him the time and opportunity to get to know his child that you seem less than willing to so.

    This is co-parenting 101. Get used to it. Don't like the guy? Too bad.
    "If it ain't in writing, it never happened."
    "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
    "You can never make the same mistake twice, because the second time you make it, it's not a mistake, but a CHOICE."

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    • #3
      re: sole custody... do i have to let her father see her?

      I wish to inform you that if court has not provided any visitation rights to father then you can refuse visitation to father. As you have sole custody thus you have the power to decide as to who all can meet with child and take decisions regarding welfare of child. If child is scared of father then you can inform father of facts and refuse custody.

      AFF

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      • #4
        Re: sole custody... do i have to let her father see her?

        Dad is also going to have to step up here too. The child's age isn't mentioned but for a young child a year is a long time and the child is suddenly told to go spend time with a total stranger.

        You need to work together to make this better for your child.

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        • #5
          Re: sole custody... do i have to let her father see her?

          You can refuse to allow your child to see her Father based on her behavior towards him. You can also approach the court and present evidence that visitation is not in the child's best interest. Get an order to suspend visitation until further notice. If there is truly no specified/ fixed visitation time given to the Father, you are not violating any court order. Contact an attorney to assist you.

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          • #6
            Re: sole custody... do i have to let her father see her?

            Originally posted by agbajb
            I have gotten sole custody of my daughter, and I was wondering if I have to let her father see her? we don't have any visition set in place and its on agreed apon parties. the reason is she is scared of him, screams when she is with him, he only spends about an hour with her. and the last time he saw her was about a year ago and now he wants to see her. im thinking its not fair to her that she is in and out of her life
            Since the father has been "in and out of her life", it behooves you to encourage his visits so the child gets to know him and visa versa. Initially you could arrange for visitation to take place with you present, as a 'family affair' until she gets to know him better and is comfortable with him.

            Sole custody does not mean sole possession. It means that you will make the major decisions in her life and for her welfare. But it is the child's right to know and spend time with the other parent and your job to do the best you can to facilitate that.

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            • #7
              Re: sole custody... do i have to let her father see her?

              Originally posted by sandyclaus View Post
              That depends on how much you enjoy having your child living with you.

              So, the court order says visitation as agreed between the parties? That means YES, you MUST let him see the child. It also means that the court is giving the two of you the opportunity to communicate and cooperate like adults before stepping in and making specific orders for visitation scheduling.

              So, the question remains as to why is this child so scared to be around their father? Why are you more willing to play into her fears than calm her and encourage her to get more comfortable with him? This man will be her father for the rest of her life. It's time YOU learned that and started teaching your daughter that very important fact.

              Of course, if you refuse to allow the father access to the child and continue to try and alienate him from her, I'm sure that the court would reconsider the current custody arrangements and perhaps even grant him custody to allow him the time and opportunity to get to know his child that you seem less than willing to so.

              This is co-parenting 101. Get used to it. Don't like the guy? Too bad.
              there is no court order for vistation just as agreeed upon atm.so untill there is she doesnt have to send her daughter, once there is she better send her or she could be the parent with vistation instead of custody

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              • #8
                Re: sole custody... do i have to let her father see her?

                Originally posted by messyjessi View Post
                there is no court order for vistation just as agreeed upon atm.so untill there is she doesnt have to send her daughter, once there is she better send her or she could be the parent with vistation instead of custody
                Jessi, read that again.

                There IS a court order that requires she allow visitation. It just specifies that the parties must agree on scheduling instead of there being a set schedule. If mom refuses ANY visitation she risks the repercussions from the court for not allowing it.
                "If it ain't in writing, it never happened."
                "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
                "You can never make the same mistake twice, because the second time you make it, it's not a mistake, but a CHOICE."

                Comment

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