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Not understanding how custody works during a seperation to a U.S. Army Solider

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  • Not understanding how custody works during a seperation to a U.S. Army Solider

    Fairbanks, Alaska

    Hi me and my husband have been separated now for two to three months now and our four year old daughter lives with me since he abandoned us at my friends house with a vehicle that wasn't his and the owner took it back so I have no vehicle, except for when my friend can give us rides. The military is making him pay me $366 twice a month which im ok with, but he is saying he can come and take her whenever he wants and doesn't have to give her back. But what I'm wondering since he left her here with me and I am/have been the sole care provider for her, meaning I know her schedule, the way she acts, what she likes, dislikes, and how she is all together, my husband just put a roof over our heads and made sure there was food and did nothing else. He would come home and sit in his recliner and not move until he had to go to work the next morning, so is he actually allowed to come take her whenever and keep her away from me if he wants to?

    Also he has been staying at his friends house when he has an apartment that has no food in it, he has no vehicle because his has been in the shop and doesn't know when he is getting it back, and here in the next couple months he is getting medically retired from the military and shipped back to his home of record and wants sole custody of our daughter and wants to take her with him. I looked up if he could do that and what I read was that he needed my permission even if he has sole custody of her to take her out of state, but he said the courthouse told him that he needs the states permission to do that, so im lost about a lot and I hope this makes sense and please can someone help educate me? Thank you.

  • #2
    Re: Not understanding how custody works during a seperation to a U.S. Army Solider

    Absent a court order assigning residential custody to one parent, custody is shared and either parent may take the child.
    Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

    I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

    Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

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    • #3
      Re: Not understanding how custody works during a seperation to a U.S. Army Solider

      I wish to inform you that you can take sole custody from court so that no other person can take child from you. If father comes and take child out of your custody into some other state then father can be held liable for parental kidnapping. You can inform father that taking child out of his home state may be an offence and can be covered under parental kidnapping as you do not consent to moving of the child. However you may not restrict meeting of father with child unless you have a sole custody order.

      AFF

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      • #4
        Re: Not understanding how custody works during a seperation to a U.S. Army Solider

        Originally posted by tigerbuddy45 View Post
        Fairbanks, Alaska

        Hi me and my husband have been separated now for two to three months now and our four year old daughter lives with me since he abandoned us at my friends house with a vehicle that wasn't his and the owner took it back so I have no vehicle, except for when my friend can give us rides. The military is making him pay me $366 twice a month which im ok with, but he is saying he can come and take her whenever he wants and doesn't have to give her back. But what I'm wondering since he left her here with me and I am/have been the sole care provider for her, meaning I know her schedule, the way she acts, what she likes, dislikes, and how she is all together, my husband just put a roof over our heads and made sure there was food and did nothing else. He would come home and sit in his recliner and not move until he had to go to work the next morning, so is he actually allowed to come take her whenever and keep her away from me if he wants to?

        Also he has been staying at his friends house when he has an apartment that has no food in it, he has no vehicle because his has been in the shop and doesn't know when he is getting it back, and here in the next couple months he is getting medically retired from the military and shipped back to his home of record and wants sole custody of our daughter and wants to take her with him. I looked up if he could do that and what I read was that he needed my permission even if he has sole custody of her to take her out of state, but he said the courthouse told him that he needs the states permission to do that, so im lost about a lot and I hope this makes sense and please can someone help educate me? Thank you.
        You need to get a court order giving you custody, assigning him visitation days and with the restriction that the child not be allowed to leave the state without your and/or the court's permission.

        Children under the age of 8 are preferred for custody with the mother and in this case you have been her primary and often sole caretaker. The legal principle is called the Tender Years Doctrine.

        Why parents who have never raised a child day to day think they can just show up, pick up a child as if it were inanimate object -- without feelings, bonds to the parent who has been caring for him or her 24/7 and just take off demonstrates a lack of capacity to understand children -- not enough to be primary parent.

        See a family law attorney. Legal Aid if you qualify. So you are informed of your rights and duties as mother to the child and what the law is in your state. You are going to need a decree of legal separation or divorce and you have now a couple of months to get prepared.

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