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24 hr. ER hearing/custody... HELP fast!!

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  • 24 hr. ER hearing/custody... HELP fast!!

    I am a 28 yr. old mother of a single child, age 4. The father and I were never married but have generally gotten along. He hasn't liked my boyfriend (who i've been with for 10 yrs off and on). The father has repeatedly asked me to move in with him and I've refused. He is not happy about it. The boyfrined has gotten into trouble a few times for drugs in 07 and in 04. These were obviously before teh father and i had a relationship, then child. He chose to move to the beach area (3 hrs away) wehn child was 2 for a better job opportunity. We agreed to $400/mth child support that was later raised to $800 then dropped to 700. We also agreed that I would meet him halfway every other weekend for joint custody/i have primary placement.

    My boyfriend has always been controlling and abusive mentally and physically. I have put a stop to this. he violated the trespass notice my apt placed on him months ago (violated about 3 times since but not arrested). the father found out a couple of weeks ago that exboyfriend kicked the my door down and tried to get in to hurt me. He was only ran off bc my friend was there and he seemed shock when he came through the door. My friend got into an arguement wiht an officer and was arrested for a pistol and drugs. I did not have drugs on me or in my apt, they were his.

    On friday, 3/1 his attorney and him filed for full custody. They received an emergency hearing for monday 3/4. They were also granted a temporary restraining order against me barring me from communication with him and the minor (my child) for the weekend until court monday. The father also pulled an attachd w/ the court docs a copy of the friends report and the exboyfriend. They are asking full custody w/ supervised visits after I pass a drug test. For child support, even though he makes $70k a year and I am currently without a job. My apts are willing to work with me until I find one so I dont' have to look for another place to live (guaranteed). I also have food stamps until better days. She has had medicaid for years because she wasn't covered under his work insurance, as ordered. i believe now she is but he doesn't want to share info. Also, he has argued and cussed me on text messages i am taking to court.
    I have affadavits signed by the teacher, 3 friends, and am voluntarily enrolling myself into drug and parenting classes before court on monday. Also, I am getting a order of protection against the exboyfriend and have been trying to do this for 2 months without much cooperatiion from police/fam court. I am also takin police reports wehre I have called the police on the ex.bf to show that I have tried to get away and the police will not arrest him. They ahve a warrant now bc the apt filed after he kicked my door in. He has yet to be picked up. I am sure the parents (of the father) are involved and travel constantly so how can they help with custody?

    he's asking for:
    *custody
    *visitation after drug testing
    *child support in a reasonable sum
    *a restraining order
    *exposing the child to friend and exboyfriend
    *guardian ad litem attorney fees and suit money in reasonable sum
    *(allowance to each party of all discovery available under rules of civil procedure

    I am getting help from the bar association for legal advice and can't talk to anyone until after court on monday. he screwed me by serving me on saturday. I dropped my child off on fri. afternoon as usual bc he stated he was at work, when really he was at court filing papers against me. Also making a list of daily schedule and routine ot show stableness and babysitters and schedule to show i am trying to get a job and have adequate child care. she is in head start for school and currently enrolled to start school in the fall for 5k. also, i am enrolling her in gymnastics for the spring season.

    I will have most or all proof of these things at court monday. What chance do i have of leaving with her? being granted a continuance? or winning in general? what about visitation if he is granted temporary custody? is there anything else that i should do to be prepared?

  • #2
    re: 24 hr. ER hearing/custody... HELP fast!!

    also this is in SC

    Comment


    • #3
      re: 24 hr. ER hearing/custody... HELP fast!!

      From what you've posted it seems dad has a good chance of getting custody.

      You need to get your info straight. You first indicate you and the bf have been on/off for 10 years, (2002/2003) then indicate he got in trouble for drugs in 2004 and 2007 which you characterize as prior to your relationship yet it's right in the middle?

      Why are you voluntarily enrolled in drug classes? And parenting classes?

      It strikes me we are missing some relevant info. Only makes it seem far more likely dad will get custody. They will impute you an income for support purposes.

      Comment


      • #4
        re: 24 hr. ER hearing/custody... HELP fast!!

        If you would stop hanging with losers possessing drugs and guns, as well as those who exercise violent behavior, you might get overnight visitations again.
        Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

        I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

        Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: 24 hr. ER hearing/custody... HELP fast!!

          wow. to "disagreeable",
          you obviously do not understand. let me clarify a few things. first of all, *i* am not responsible for what anyone else does with the exception of my child. secondly, do you realize that people that have drug problems are actually sick? have you read any research on drug addiction? it IS actually a disease. so, automatically assuming that the people who go to jail are losers, is just a ridiculous notion to make yourself feel better than others i'm sure you've done several things in your life you dont' want your mother to know. if you do not have any legal advice, get off my thread. you are worthless to me, and therefore wasting my time.
          anyways, I did not mean that the drug arrests were not during our relationship, they were before my child was born and when we were not together. the father and i were together at the time.
          I am volunteering to enroll in drug and parenting classes bc I've done enough research to know they will most likely put me in them and i feel it is the best defense i've got to walking out with custody/visitation. i do have a problem with pain pills, i recognize that. i do NOT take them around my daughter and no more than two a day when i do take them, yet, it is still an addiction to me. am i on the right track or is this going about my defense the wrong way?

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: 24 hr. ER hearing/custody... HELP fast!!

            and my friend had the gun because the night he came over he was protecting me from the ex-psycho, who had made threats to kill me that night. to make it short and simple.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: 24 hr. ER hearing/custody... HELP fast!!

              Originally posted by hbearden View Post
              and my friend had the gun because the night he came over he was protecting me from the ex-psycho, who had made threats to kill me that night. to make it short and simple.
              What were the drugs he had for? False courage?
              Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

              I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

              Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: 24 hr. ER hearing/custody... HELP fast!!

                Originally posted by hbearden View Post
                wow. to "disagreeable",
                you obviously do not understand. let me clarify a few things. first of all, *i* am not responsible for what anyone else does with the exception of my child. secondly, do you realize that people that have drug problems are actually sick? have you read any research on drug addiction? it IS actually a disease. so, automatically assuming that the people who go to jail are losers, is just a ridiculous notion to make yourself feel better than others i'm sure you've done several things in your life you dont' want your mother to know. if you do not have any legal advice, get off my thread. you are worthless to me, and therefore wasting my time.
                anyways, I did not mean that the drug arrests were not during our relationship, they were before my child was born and when we were not together. the father and i were together at the time.
                I am volunteering to enroll in drug and parenting classes bc I've done enough research to know they will most likely put me in them and i feel it is the best defense i've got to walking out with custody/visitation. i do have a problem with pain pills, i recognize that. i do NOT take them around my daughter and no more than two a day when i do take them, yet, it is still an addiction to me. am i on the right track or is this going about my defense the wrong way?
                Your children should come before anyone else, boyfriend, even father. When one is addicted to any mind altering substance, their parenting is impaired. Add to that living with a violent (door kicking) addict, and that is a prescription for losing custody.

                Yes, drug addiction is a sickness. A child is entitled to a wholesome, healthy environment and healthy parents to raise it. The drug and parenting classes will help.

                But if anyone needs an attorney representing her in the courtroom, it is you. And I would strongly suggest you get the best family law attorney you can to represent you.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: 24 hr. ER hearing/custody... HELP fast!!

                  Disagreeable
                  i DON'T CARE or know why he had them, but i am not responsible for someone else.
                  and he is no longer welcome at my apartment.

                  friend:
                  I have started the applications today for the order of protection from the ex boyfriend. i plan on getting a trespass notice for the friend as well. just to keep him away and to give myself a chance. the drug and parenting classes start next week.

                  today in court he got temp full custody with my visits every other sat and we both have to take a drug test this week. i am ordered to pay child support and accepting a job i got offered. i don't make very much now but this other job should be better. i want to also move out of the apt i shared w/ the pyscho ex do you think that will help? i also want to change my number to also prove i want NO connections with him whatsoever.

                  is there anything else i can do? i've called and set up an appointment with the best attorney i know in the area and pray she takes my case. otherwise, i can move on to the next.

                  thanks again,
                  hb

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: 24 hr. ER hearing/custody... HELP fast!!

                    It appears you are doing all you can. Now you need to establish a long track record of doing it. Good Luck in your future.
                    Due to a recent promotion, I should now be referred to as Major Obvious.

                    I would not be trying to provide information and knowledge if I did not sympathize.

                    Some days it is just not worth chewing through the restraints to face life.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: 24 hr. ER hearing/custody... HELP fast!!

                      thank you. i really really appreciate it.

                      Comment

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