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Father trying to take custody of the child because he claims I abandon him.

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  • Father trying to take custody of the child because he claims I abandon him.

    I have a 7 year old daughter. About 5 years ago, I separated from her father and he has chosen not to be a part of her life in that time. I've just recently moved forward with child support as I didn't need it until now. Now that he's been served with child support he's claiming that he wants to take custody of her. This is after I recieved countless emails of him swearing her off and telling me he wants nothing to do with her and that he doesn't think she's even his. He wanted to sign his rights away up until he got served with child support. Now, he's claiming that he can take custody of the child because I cheated on him at one point in the marriage and he's claiming that I 'abandoned' him when we split. I didn't abandon him. We went our separate ways as is what happens when two people no longer want to be together. What I need to know is if he has any legal standing at all with that. I don't think he does and I think it's a ridiculous notion. He's clearly just trying to find another way out of having to pay me child support. He's already refused to divorce me. His who argument for custody is that I cheated on him and 'abandoned' him and somehow he believes that's grounds to make me unfit to have her.

  • #2
    Re: Father trying to take custody of the child because he claims I abandon him.

    QUOTE=JFrancois4287;291236]I have a 7 year old daughter. About 5 years ago, I separated from her father and he has chosen not to be a part of her life in that time. I've just recently moved forward with child support as I didn't need it until now. Now that he's been served with child support he's claiming that he wants to take custody of her. This is after I recieved countless emails of him swearing her off and telling me he wants nothing to do with her and that he doesn't think she's even his. He wanted to sign his rights away up until he got served with child support. Now, he's claiming that he can take custody of the child because I cheated on him at one point in the marriage and he's claiming that I 'abandoned' him when we split. I didn't abandon him. We went our separate ways as is what happens when two people no longer want to be together. What I need to know is if he has any legal standing at all with that. I don't think he does and I think it's a ridiculous notion. He's clearly just trying to find another way out of having to pay me child support. He's already refused to divorce me. His who argument for custody is that I cheated on him and 'abandoned' him and somehow he believes that's grounds to make me unfit to have her.[/QUOTE]

    His threats of legal writhings over custody are no more than that -- an attempt to avoid support. It is highly unlikely his petition for custody, IF he files, would get much credit in the court in light of his lack of involvement with the child and the evidence you have of his disavowing her, not supporting her or making even any effort to see and build a relationship with her.

    Your leaving him or an affair has little weight when weighing custody, what is in the child's best interests controls.

    Divorces these days are 'no fault', so an affair or leaving the family home is not grounds to determine custody. Only the parents' conduct which affect the children is what the courts consider.

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    • #3
      Re: Father trying to take custody of the child because he claims I abandon him.

      Originally posted by Friend In Court View Post
      QUOTE=JFrancois4287;291236]I have a 7 year old daughter. About 5 years ago, I separated from her father and he has chosen not to be a part of her life in that time. I've just recently moved forward with child support as I didn't need it until now. Now that he's been served with child support he's claiming that he wants to take custody of her. This is after I recieved countless emails of him swearing her off and telling me he wants nothing to do with her and that he doesn't think she's even his. He wanted to sign his rights away up until he got served with child support. Now, he's claiming that he can take custody of the child because I cheated on him at one point in the marriage and he's claiming that I 'abandoned' him when we split. I didn't abandon him. We went our separate ways as is what happens when two people no longer want to be together. What I need to know is if he has any legal standing at all with that. I don't think he does and I think it's a ridiculous notion. He's clearly just trying to find another way out of having to pay me child support. He's already refused to divorce me. His who argument for custody is that I cheated on him and 'abandoned' him and somehow he believes that's grounds to make me unfit to have her.
      His threats of legal writhings over custody are no more than that -- an attempt to avoid support. It is highly unlikely his petition for custody, IF he files, would get much credit in the court in light of his lack of involvement with the child and the evidence you have of his disavowing her, not supporting her or making even any effort to see and build a relationship with her.

      Your leaving him or an affair has little weight when weighing custody, what is in the child's best interests controls.

      Divorces these days are 'no fault', so an affair or leaving the family home is not grounds to determine custody. Only the parents' conduct which affect the children is what the courts consider.
      Thank you. That's what I was thinking, I just wanted to be sure. He's been doing nothing but badmouth me since he got the order and I've done no such thing to him. I don't think a judge is going to remove her from a home where she's happy, healthy, provided for and has 2 brothers and a sister.

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      • #4
        Re: Father trying to take custody of the child because he claims I abandon him.

        Badmouthing a parent,if done to or in front of a child is another negative against a parent having custody of a child.

        Since you have been separated for five years and he has made no attempt at reconciliation or divorce, by your account, he must have been content with the situation as it was. Judges are loathe to move a child from a home where he or she is doing well and separate siblings on top of that.

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        • #5
          Re: Father trying to take custody of the child because he claims I abandon him.

          Just as FIC said, nothing but threats to scare you into dropping child support. Keep the emails as evidence if you still have them. Be prepared, he may follow up on the threats and file, but it's unlikely he would be awarded custody. The court will not award custody because you "abandoned him (the father)."

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          • #6
            Re: Father trying to take custody of the child because he claims I abandon him.

            i dont' know about the divorce laws in your state, but in SC if you file for a divorce he has no choice. he doesn't even have to show up to court.
            as far as custody that sounds ridiculous and as long as you show a loving and caring safe environment, the kid will stay with you. print those emails.

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