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ex husband keeping kids away from me

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  • ex husband keeping kids away from me

    Hi I am desperate to get help and some answers. So please help me. The story in short as possible.

    I was married to a Kiwi for 8 years, we have 3 children and we exasperated in 2010. We are now legally divorced. The first year we had 50/50 day to day care of our children. In 2011 January I made the biggest mistake of my life and tried to end it after a bad depression after our separation. I was in a foreign country with no support and no family. Was just me alone. My mum and uncle cam to Nz from Iceland to come get me back to Iceland to get support and treatment. Which I did with what I believed to be support from my ex husband. When I got back... 8 months later he basically says NO you can?´t see your kids. For 2 weeks after I got back I was not allowed to see or contact my kids. Now He has ALLOWED me to see them every other weekend and one afternoon a week.. I want only 50/50 day to day care again. As I think the kids need to have equal time with their parents. He does not allow me to contact them when they are with him and they are not allowed to call me. please help I just want my kids back.. they keep asking me why don?´t we get to spend more time with you.. and I can?´t say to them because your father doesn?´t let me..that would not be int heir best interest .. please help me and give me advice.

    thank you

  • #2
    Re: ex husband keeping kids away from me

    Originally posted by Oranges View Post
    Hi I am desperate to get help and some answers. So please help me. The story in short as possible.

    I was married to a Kiwi for 8 years, we have 3 children and we exasperated in 2010. We are now legally divorced. The first year we had 50/50 day to day care of our children. In 2011 January I made the biggest mistake of my life and tried to end it after a bad depression after our separation. I was in a foreign country with no support and no family. Was just me alone. My mum and uncle cam to Nz from Iceland to come get me back to Iceland to get support and treatment. Which I did with what I believed to be support from my ex husband. When I got back... 8 months later he basically says NO you can?´t see your kids. For 2 weeks after I got back I was not allowed to see or contact my kids. Now He has ALLOWED me to see them every other weekend and one afternoon a week.. I want only 50/50 day to day care again. As I think the kids need to have equal time with their parents. He does not allow me to contact them when they are with him and they are not allowed to call me. please help I just want my kids back.. they keep asking me why don?´t we get to spend more time with you.. and I can?´t say to them because your father doesn?´t let me..that would not be int heir best interest .. please help me and give me advice.

    thank you
    What was the nature of this "treatment" you underwent? How was custody and visitation originally determined? What efforts have you made to get more time with your kids?

    If there is an existing court order, both parents are obligated to comply with it. If there isn't one, you need to get one. Understand that your mental health issues may well affect what a court decides as far as custody and visitation is concerned; however, if it has been 2 years since then with no relapses, then the court should take that into consideration when revisiting or issuing a current order.
    "If it ain't in writing, it never happened."
    "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
    "You can never make the same mistake twice, because the second time you make it, it's not a mistake, but a CHOICE."

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    • #3
      Re: ex husband keeping kids away from me

      Originally posted by Oranges View Post
      Hi I am desperate to get help and some answers. So please help me. The story in short as possible.

      I was married to a Kiwi for 8 years, we have 3 children and we exasperated in 2010. We are now legally divorced. The first year we had 50/50 day to day care of our children. In 2011 January I made the biggest mistake of my life and tried to end it after a bad depression after our separation. I was in a foreign country with no support and no family. Was just me alone. My mum and uncle cam to Nz from Iceland to come get me back to Iceland to get support and treatment. Which I did with what I believed to be support from my ex husband. When I got back... 8 months later he basically says NO you can?´t see your kids. For 2 weeks after I got back I was not allowed to see or contact my kids. Now He has ALLOWED me to see them every other weekend and one afternoon a week.. I want only 50/50 day to day care again. As I think the kids need to have equal time with their parents. He does not allow me to contact them when they are with him and they are not allowed to call me. please help I just want my kids back.. they keep asking me why don?´t we get to spend more time with you.. and I can?´t say to them because your father doesn?´t let me..that would not be int heir best interest .. please help me and give me advice.

      thank you
      It well may be in the children's best interests to let them know that it is their father who is restricting their time with you.

      The episode you went through you can count on his raising, mental instability, potentially dangerous, yadda yadda. Take your time with the children that you have and line up professionals who can attest to your stablity now, physical and mental health. People who see you interacting with the children also can support you in the future to see the custody decree modified.

      50/50 parenting arrangements, the children living half their time in each parent's home is not the typical arrangement and for school age children can be a challenge, so bide your time and make the best possible use of the time you have with the children -- quality time.

      Eventually you may wish to petition to modify the decree for more time with the children. The court may consider the time too short since your episode to grant it now, anyway. My suggestion is that you consult with a family law attorney for once one is privy to the entire file, he or she may be able to guide you to a future successful modification.

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