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**AFFA** · 01-26-2013, 01:46 PM

re: what are my chances... im getting threats from his parents

I wish to inform you that you may file a petition in the Court for sole child custody with no visitation from the father. You may inform the Court that he has been in and out of your child's life. He has not even bought her a birthday card in the past two years. He is unfit to be her father. He has three children from his present wife. The court always considers the best interests of the child. Generally, the Court wants the child to grow up under the love and care of both the parents. The Court will also seek the opinion of the child depending upon the child's age. The Court will consider all the facts and decide the matter.

AFF

**Disagreeable** · 01-26-2013, 02:08 PM

re: what are my chances... im getting threats from his parents

Why should you be dictating how he spends time with his daughter? "because I'll lose her to him" Obviously, you think your daughter is a possession and not a human child, deserving of a father and mother. You have an unhealthy attachment to her. You need to loosen up, or a judge will give him custody, based on your actions.

**sjay** · 01-27-2013, 04:43 AM

Re: what are my chances... im getting threats from his parents

just to clear this i do not and have not ever told him how to spend his time with her but i think when times are agreed they should be stuck to that way everyone knows what there doing. i do not see that as unhealthy attachment to my daughter.

**Disagreeable** · 01-27-2013, 08:23 AM

Re: what are my chances... im getting threats from his parents

So apparently, by taking the content of both your post and clarification, you want to set the terms under which he sees her and he does not always play, making you angry. Why can't he just call up and say can I take my kid for a few hours? Does allowing him that ability mess with your OCD that much?

**grim509** · 01-28-2013, 11:00 AM

Re: what are my chances... im getting threats from his parents

You have every right to request set times. In fact, if you file a petition in court for custody and visitation, the court will likely order set times and days.

If there is no current order, you will not lose custody of your daughter to him simply for asking he follow a schedule. If there is, then just follow the order, you'll have nothing to fear.

They are only threatening you because they feel you will cave in to their demands. It's called preying.

If there is no court order, and he honestly wants to see his child and build a bond with her, then file for custody and a visitation order.

**Disagreeable** · 01-28-2013, 05:10 PM

Re: what are my chances... im getting threats from his parents

No honey, you can't see your daddy.

Why mommy?

Because he won't fork over the money to get a court order making me let him see you sweetie.

Here's your sign

**Friend In Court** · 01-29-2013, 10:20 AM

Re: what are my chances... im getting threats from his parents

Originally posted by sjay View Post

my daughters father has never pulled his weight in raising our daughter he has skipped in and out of her life since she was born and it was me thats raised her with help from his mum and dad. he has gone on to have three other children with his new wife yet has failed for the past two years to even buy our child a birthday card. now his back on the sceane im getting threats from his parents saying i should give him a break when he doesnt listen to my rules on her staying at his beacuse ill lose her to him. this is very upsetting and distressing for me. i have never been nasty about him seeing her even tho he hasnt botherd and i wouldnt want to do that but i really need to know if i could fight this to atleast get mediation. what are my rights as a mother?

A father who has not shown even the most minimal responsibility to support and raise his child has little chance of getting custody. The meddling grandparents should stand back and shut their traps! If they had real concern for their granddaughter they would have encouraged, wheedled or shamed their son into supporting her, parenting her, manning up to his responsibilities as a father. We won't even mention that the most important thing to a girl is knowing her father loves her. He has failed on all counts and so have his parents.

Your rights as a mother are solidified against this parental slacker by the fact you have been the primary and often sole parent she has had. Mediation, schmediation. You two are not on equal footing with the history he has.

If the bio father wants to launch a custody battle, and its his parents who are raising that threat, then it will cost him quite a bit of money in solicitor's fees. I would not be concerned but when the grandparents chime in with their two cents on the situation, I would turn it back on them -- have them do their duty as parents to urge their son to man up to his duties to his daughter -- support, spend time with, be a real father to her and not just a sometime visitor and sperm donor.