Step parents allowed to spank?

[Unregistered]

Re: Step parents allowed to spank?

I can tell you now if the b i t c h hit my kid I'd be all over her like white on rice and tear her a s s up then rip my ex a new one for allowing her to touch my child. What's the difference in her spanking my child and me whooping her a s s? Not a d a m n thing as I can tell. So if they pressed charges for me whooping her a s s then I'd press charges for her touching my child. As far as witnesses, the child can testify as to what happened, no matter how young they are they know if they have been spanked or not.

The above is proof positive that emotionally charged (and perhaps unstable) people are the majority who provide answers here.

The OP asked a legal question and she's getting highly emotional responses.

The thread - like others - has gone awry. The OP hasn't even been back to post again and this thread already has two pages worth of ridiculous responses. The post quoted above wins for most ridiculous response thus far.

[Unregistered]

Re: Step parents allowed to spank?

Only suitable for minors?:

Schoolchildrens' "spanking" related injuries (WARNING - These images may be deeply disturbing to some viewers. Do not open this page if children are present).
http://www.nospank.net/injuredkids.pdf

Reasonable and moderate? You decide.
(WARNING - This sound recording may be deeply disturbing to some listeners. Do not open this file if children are within listening range).
http://nospank.net/prj-006.wav


People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, college students, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.

For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the anal region, sex organs, and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be intentionally or unintentionally sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can read the testimony, documentation, and educational resources available from the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at Project NoSpank

Child bottom-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:

Child bottom-battering (euphemistically labeled "spanking","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

There are several reasons why child bottom-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak
http://www.nospank.net/pt2010.pdf

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson
http://nospank.net/sdsc2.pdf

NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor MD and Adah Maurer PhD
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE

Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-battering isn't a good idea:

American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child.

In 31 nations, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child. The US also has the highest incarceration rate in the world.

The US states with the highest crime rates and the poorest academic performance are also the ones with the highest rates of child corporal punishment.

There is simply no evidence to suggest that child bottom-battering instills virtue.

[tanyamb]

Re: Step parents allowed to spank?

You do realize that you are using wikipedia as a source, don't you? Wikipedia is a very unreliable source; in fact any one can post to a wiki. My son was penalized for using Wikipedia for his Titatanic research while he was in elementary school. It actually gave him the incorrect date the ship sank. In the future, quote a reliable source.

[sunlover]

Re: Step parents allowed to spank?

And do you realize your posting on a thread that two years old?

[tanyamb]

Re: Step parents allowed to spank?

And do you realize your posting on a thread that two years old?

Yes, I do. Even if the original author of the message doesn't get the message, others will. The comment may be two years old, but is still being read by many (even two years later). We are examples of that. Thanks for providing interested readers with another source.

[sunlover]

Re: Step parents allowed to spank?

I saw this because you posted on it and I was subscribed to thread!

[Friend In Court]

Re: Step parents allowed to spank?

The laws on spanking vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction -- and to whether one who has temporary control of a child is entitled to spank, e.g. a teacher.

Without that information one can give no answer that is worthwhile.

[messyjessi]

Re: Step parents allowed to spank?

My ex husband remarried less than a year ago and his wife "spanked" our 5 year old daughter while he was at work. Is she legally allowed to physically spank my child?

unfortunately yes if dad allows it she is. however you can go to court and get an order that noone but dad (THE PARENT)be allowed to phsically discipline the child. if they disobey the order there can be consquences. my husband has two stepchildren and he does not spank them because he knows its not his place to, he is not their father. just as dad's wife is not this child's mother, and should let her husband , the actual parent, do the spanking

[CB32]

Actually, no one who is not the legal guardian, which includes step parents, has the LEGAL right to physically correct a child. If the other biological parent objects to the non-parent spanking their child then they can actually press charges for child abuse and custody can be given to that parent if the court who has jurisdiction deems it necessary. All of you people posting responses without knowing the laws are rediculous. Yes, it's a little far fetched to press charges bc little Johnny was spanked by the step mom or step dad, but, as the biological parent that is your right.

How are you aware of this?

Yes, she's legally allowed to spank your child. The reason for this is, she's not just your child. She is also the father's child. He's remarried and that makes the new wife his child's stepmother.

This means, while the child is in his custody, the rules are made at his house and are followed at his house. You have no say over that. Same goes for you. When the child is at your house, your rules are followed.

There really is no law that dictate whether or not a stepparent can spank their stepchildren, but it's definitely a civil matter and not a criminal matter.

It really doesn't matter where you are located, so the last poster's question is moot.

[CB32]

Re: Step parents allowed to spank?

As a father who has a child who doesn't live with me, there is a certain point that I came to where I could no longer trust the step dad. I don't even trust my child's mother but, that's why there are courts. So, when my son tells me every time I see him or talk to him that his stepdad is mean and hits him, at some point you have to take the child seriously and at the very least have the situation investigated. I also know people who are in the same situation but all parties are cordial and respectful to each other and the person has no issue with the step parent disciplining their child. It's a matter of trust. Now , at the same time if my child is doing something worthy of discipline, my ex should be the one who decides to spank and if she makes that decision she needs to be the one doing it. The only "power" I would be ok with the stepdad having is maybe "time out"

[Lexus]

Re: Step parents allowed to spank?

She has no right to spank your boy. You can approach Law Enforcement and press charge against Ex-husband who is having custody of child and his wife. If still no result is been entered. You can approach the court regarding the matter.

[goddessoflubboc]

Re: Step parents allowed to spank?

How does this dead thread keep getting pulled up again? It's 3 years old!

[Friend In Court]

Re: Step parents allowed to spank?

As a father who has a child who doesn't live with me, there is a certain point that I came to where I could no longer trust the step dad. I don't even trust my child's mother but, that's why there are courts. So, when my son tells me every time I see him or talk to him that his stepdad is mean and hits him, at some point you have to take the child seriously and at the very least have the situation investigated. I also know people who are in the same situation but all parties are cordial and respectful to each other and the person has no issue with the step parent disciplining their child. It's a matter of trust. Now , at the same time if my child is doing something worthy of discipline, my ex should be the one who decides to spank and if she makes that decision she needs to be the one doing it. The only "power" I would be ok with the stepdad having is maybe "time out"

I agree witjh you wholeheartedly. A stepparent has no authority to discipline a child, much less hit the child. One should always respect their children enough to believe them, investigate the matter, and in one such as you describe, lay out your standards to the stepfather that you do not approve of physical discipline (consider it battery), and what methods you approve.

All that hitting teaches a child is that power is might and right. That physically hurting someone is okay as long as you are bigger than they. It doesn't teach much other than pain. And to not trust the adult for fear of being hit again.

[grim509]

Re: Step parents allowed to spank?

Be careful. Pressing charges could actually get YOU in trouble. Depending on the state. I know of a father that had to plead out because Child Services brought him up on charges for telling them his children were abused because they were spanked by the step-father.

Law in their state says it's ok to be disciplined physically.

Spankings are not abuse, regardless of who administers the spanking.

Instead of jumping the gun and running to the police, courts etc, causing problems and stressing everyone out (including the child), speak with the other parent about your concerns.

And yes, most courts do indeed recognize that step-parents have the full right to discipline step-children (how the discipline is administered is another issue, however.)

[CB32]

Well, idk what states have laws that can punish the parent for pressing charges when it comes to the welfare of a child. Probably California lol. Seriously, you're right go to the other parent first, which in my case I have, and of course nothing is done, I'm called names and threatened by the new spouse. Anyways, I decided to go the legal route and hire a lawyer to handle the custody case as well as including discipline in the case. I am leaving no stone unturned .

Be careful. Pressing charges could actually get YOU in trouble. Depending on the state. I know of a father that had to plead out because Child Services brought him up on charges for telling them his children were abused because they were spanked by the step-father.

Law in their state says it's ok to be disciplined physically.

Spankings are not abuse, regardless of who administers the spanking.

Instead of jumping the gun and running to the police, courts etc, causing problems and stressing everyone out (including the child), speak with the other parent about your concerns.

And yes, most courts do indeed recognize that step-parents have the full right to discipline step-children (how the discipline is administered is another issue, however.)