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  • Should I worry?

    My ex-husband is trying to tell me that our daughter has the choice of where she wants to live when she turns 12. She just did. From all the research that I have done I have not found that to be true. However, he is really pushing her and manipulating her. I moved about 6 hours away 3 1/2 years ago. I have always made sure that she sees him once a month with us meeting halfway. He gets her for half the summers, half the Christmas break, most 3 day weekends, Spring Break, etc. When there are no vacations or 3 day weekends, she still goes for one 2 day weekend that month. He is really pushing me to let her skip school to go 4-wheel riding next month. I refused because she will be with him for the 3 day weekend prior to that and will be camping/riding with him then. I do not agree with her missing school. He tried to start an argument asking me what I was going to do when she could "choose" where she got to live. I said, "When she's 18??" He continued in his attempted intimidation, and I just told him the conversation was over, told him goodbye and hung up. We have joint physical custody with me having residential custody. No modification has been done to the parenting plan since we've been divorced almost 10 years ago. I moved one other time and he tried to get custody then, or prevent me from moving and neither happened. We had a "temporary" visitation through the courts at that time (she was 3) and he got her for one week every month. I did end up moving back, and it went to him having her every other weekend. I'm worried that he is going to try to get residential custody of her. She has excellent grades, we are a stable family, I've been remarried for over 7 years, and she has been in the same school district since we've moved. Should I worry? Any advice on what I should do? I don't know if it matters with the courts, but I have a 6 year old son from my "new" marriage, and my husband's daughter moved in with us last summer...so she has siblings that she would be leaving, too.

  • #2
    Re: Should I worry?

    Just from experience, what I have done is called the friend of the court, give them your divorce case number and they can help, they dont give legal advice but maybe they can point you in the right direction

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    • #3
      Re: Should I worry?

      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      My ex-husband is trying to tell me that our daughter has the choice of where she wants to live when she turns 12. .
      tell dad to knock it off. you are correct, your daughter can choose when she is 18

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      • #4
        Re: Should I worry?

        I agree...don't put up with it

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        • #5
          Re: Should I worry?

          Having her in a stable environment that your ex-husband wants to remove her from is going to be in your favor. However, in most states, the court will consider a child's opinion if the child is over the age of 13. The child will be seen in private in the judge's chambers with neither side present and asked what she wants. Of course, the motion to modify custody has to be initiated by one of the parents, and unless your ex-husband knows to do so, it's not going to happen. Apparently your ex has not done enough research to know this can be done, so don't enlighten him, and ask him to stop creating tension and using your daughter as a pawn.

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          • #6
            Re: Should I worry?

            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            Having her in a stable environment that your ex-husband wants to remove her from is going to be in your favor. However, in most states, the court will consider a child's opinion if the child is over the age of 13. The child will be seen in private in the judge's chambers with neither side present and asked what she wants. Of course, the motion to modify custody has to be initiated by one of the parents, and unless your ex-husband knows to do so, it's not going to happen. Apparently your ex has not done enough research to know this can be done, so don't enlighten him, and ask him to stop creating tension and using your daughter as a pawn.
            I totally agree with this. I am from a divorced family myself and when I turned 14 my dad layed it on thick. Promising me everything from new clothes to a new car on my 16th birthday. My mother looked at me straight in the face and told me, "over my dead body". This was a kind of reality check for me because deep down I knew that my mom's house was really where I needed to be. If you have raised your daughter in a loving nurturing environment, don't be surprised if she choses you. Daughters love their daddies but the NEED their mommies and nothing he can do will change that. God Bless you, I will keep you in my prayers.

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            • #7
              Re: Should I worry?

              I agree too!

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