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We are extremely worried about stepsons mental health

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  • We are extremely worried about stepsons mental health

    We have joint 50/50 custody of my two stepson's. We are extremely worried about their mental health. Their mother is not providing a stable enviroment for them. IN the past she has asked us to keep the boys for extended periods of times because she was too depressed to deal with them, or to emotional.

    She has a history of drug and alcohol abuse and while we are not certain that she is still using drugs we do know that she still drinks and in fact recently got into a fight with her brother at a bar.

    She often flies off into a rage when my husband tries to discuss issues with her about the kids. She will scream and cuss at him and refuse to discuss the issue in a mature matter.

    REcently my stepson's mom lost her best friend in a tragic murder. Since this has happened their mom's behavior has gotten worse. She calls here either crying or raging at my husband. Many times she will bring up how she just lost her best friend and how depressed she is and my husband has suggested that she seek counseling to deal with all of this so that she will be healthy and fit to help raise their boys and she then gets angry and cusses him out.

    We are very concerned with our kids mental health and worry that she will damage them mentally/emotionally with her behavior. Our oldest who is ten is absolutely obssessed with the murder case. He is scared and talks with us about it nearly every day. We are in the process of getting him into counseling for this--but we don't know what to do about his mom. When he is there she talks with him about details of this murder and what is going on with court dates and hearings. She shows him newspaper clipping and allows him to google information on line. Yesterday when my stepson came home he told his dad that his mom said he could go to one of the case hearings. Needless to say my husband about flipped his lid.


    Is there anyway we can have her court ordered to go to therapy? Her mental/ emotional state is negatively affecting the children. CAn the court order a mental evaluation--we know she will not agree to get help on her own. Also is it possible that we can file for temporary custody of the boys until she agrees to get help.

    We really need some advice here. SHe has a history of mental illness in her family and we really fear that something could happen to the boys while in her care. Not to mention the emotional and mental effects her behavior may have on them. Please any advice would be welcome.

  • #2
    re: We are extremely worried about stepsons mental health

    You can file in court, outline the problem and ask the court to order therapy or a psych review at least; the court will likely do so based on what you say here.

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    • #3
      re: We are extremely worried about stepsons mental health

      Originally posted by Nelly View Post
      We have joint 50/50 custody of my two stepson's.

      We are very concerned with our kids mental health Our oldest who is ten i.
      you are stepping WAY OVER BOUNDS HERE. THE ONLY ONES WHO HAVE JOINT CUSTODY ARE YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS EX. and they are not "our"kids, they are your husband's kids with his ex. a judge will not be pleased with your behavior. you are only the stepparent here, a legal stranger with absolutely NO say where your husband's kids are concerned. you need to step way back, and let your husband deal with it, before it causes him a lot of problems.

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      • #4
        Re: We are extremely worried about stepsons mental health

        MIss my husband comments were harsh! But some what true. I am not a harsh person.
        I have a stepson who lives with mental heath disorders. I am the main caretaker 98% of the time during the week and grandparents during the weekend on dads side. Mom is out to lunch and does more harm. We spend tuns of medical bill $ and do our best to provide and love. But like the harsh comments, it's true and heart breaking. I have given my life, career and love to my stepson. I will continue to do so. But in reality, his biological parents can only do what needs to be done for him. I can't sign paper work. I have to jump threw loops to get anything done with the mother. It's ridiculous. So please inform you step kids to understand help is good thing, 911 actually works for many reasons like violence to them or from them and if your depressed you can call to get help. Teach them by showing them threw your actions. Maybe some of it will rub off and never ever ever ever give up on them. Love them no matter what. Even from a distance. I have not hugged my kid for 3 years. I would pay 1 months mortgage to hug him. He walks by upset, happy, crazy, sad, and I cant even touch him. =(
        I hope this puts some other perspective on it.

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