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how to protect myself ?

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  • how to protect myself ?

    Today I had a visit that was moved to supervised exchanges only. My supervisor had told me at the beginning of the visit that when she called my ex to confirm the visit date and time, that my ex had said that she had reason to believe that I had done something to our kids. She took my oldest to the hospital, their pediatrician and called the Children's bureau. I was told by my supervisor that the case was closed because nothing was found. I'd still like to get these records to show just how she is. Will I be able to? Also, there is a PFA on me from my ex and it expires on Jan 11, 2007, so any contact between my ex and I are to be supervised. My supervisor did not show up for the exchange back to my ex, and said that she wasn't coming to do the exchange and that I was to do it with out her there. What can I do if anything to protect myself from my ex saying that I did anything to abuse her in any way? Also at the beginning of the visit, my supervisor had told me that she thinks that my ex is out to get me (happy some people see it) and this has been stated by all 5 of my past supervisors, and they all have asked me if she was Bi-polar. I also think that she is bi-polar but I can not seem to get any kind of mental evaluation on her. Any ideas, opinions, and or advice is greatly appreciated. Sorry for the rambling. Thank you for your time.

  • #2
    Re: how to protect myself ?

    You might want to have a witness with you for the next few visits...

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    • #3
      Re: how to protect myself ?

      i've had a witness for every visit.

      Comment


      • #4
        Update, parental alienation

        My ex and I are fighting for custody. We each have lawyers. I have a book of my ex

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        • #5
          Re: how to protect myself ?

          My ex and I are fighting for custody. We each have lawyers. I have a book of my ex

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: how to protect myself ?

            My ex and I are fighting for custody. We each have lawyers. I have a book of my ex's that has a suicide letter that she wrote with her blood all over it. My lawyer brought it up in court, and she denied that it was hers, said that she had "never seen it before in her life." So the judge didn't want anything to do with it. Whether the suicide not existed or not, I still strongly believe that she needs a mental evaluation. I also know that this is not her first attempt at suicide. This is the 3rd that I know of. I am also in Supervised visitation. We had a visit on Nov. 18th 2006, the first to take place in our home, and my oldest. who is 4, says that she knows where her privates are and that no one is to touch them, and that if anyone is to hurt her, that she is to tell her mother and her mothers boyfriend. This just came out of no where in the first 5 minutes of our visit in front of our supervisor, who was also shocked. Also, the oldest says that they stay at their grandmothers (ex's moms) when she (grandmother) doesn't have to work, and they stay my ex's b/f's house when the grandmother does work. Wouldn't this be very confusing and unstable for kids ages 4 and 2 ? They also say that they still share a bed, with blankets as a matress. They have said a bunch of off the wall since we have started the visits in Feb 2006. Our supervisor wants to put my oldest into counseling because she says that my ex is alienating me.
            Signs of alienation starting in Feb 2006 are, my kids calling me "uncle daddy", "donor daddy", and before we were in the court syster, my ex would constantly tell them that I was not their father. Since the visits have started, they have said multiple bad things that they are repeating, stuff that their mother has said about me in court papers. She has also put a PFA on me stating that it is to "make sure that I never see my kids again."
            Just a few more concerns after our Dec. 17th 2006 visit. Wanted some opinions on the matters at hand.
            1) something was bothering my oldest daughter, when i asked what was wrong, she said that she wasn't allowed to tell me.
            2)at the end of the visit, when i was getting the ready to leave, my oldest says that she doesn't want to go home, that she doesn't like mommy, or her mom's b/f. she gives me trouble every time its time to go home.
            3)they continue to tell me that they have a brother and a grandma that they do not have, and i am afraid that this may be confusing to them, and or unstable.
            4)my oldest has told me in front of the supervisor that she doesn't like family.

            Here are my questions: how would i prove parental alienation? how do i get my daughter into therapy when i have no legal custody as of yet? what would the courts do if they were to find parental alienation (a form of mental abuse) ? How do you get a mental evaluation when no one will listen to you, and or does not want to see or hear any evidence? when you file a petition for a mental evaluation, does the judge take it more seriously that if you were to just request one during a different hearing? how do they decide on who will pay for the evaluation ? is there anything that i can do about her filing a false sexual abuse claim with Childrens bureau, even thought the case was closed? All my supervisors had said that they thought that she was going to accuse me of this.
            This is in Pa, Westmoreland county

            thank you for your time. I really appreciate all the responses and advice, thank you again.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: how to protect myself ?

              For those of you have been helping me out, we are finished with the supervised visits as of now. Our next visit is on 1-27-07, and their mother is already starting, since the PFA is now over. Now heres what has happened this week. On 1-24-07, Wed. i sent a letter to the Children's Hospital where my ex had my oldest daughter checked for sexual abuse, i requested that they give me all of my daughters medical records. Also on the 24th i sent a letter to their mother (as my lawyer advised me to do) and requested that she tell me everything that she should have been telling me about my daughters lives, but she hasn't. the letter reads, Dear xxxx, We would like information about xxxx and xxxx's lives. we would like to know the following: 1) sizes of clothes, and shoes 2) their dentist, pediatrician, vision, and any other doctors 3) after school activities (dates, times, places) 4) bed times, nap times, time they wake up in the morning 5) favorite foods, colors, tv shows, activities, toys, subjects 6) who are their friends 7) what school is xxxx in, when does it start, when does it end (times of day, times of year) 8) what school are you planing on enrolling xxxx in during the fall 9) teachers names, classes taught 10) is xxxx having any problems in school / class ?

              We would like to attend as many of their activities (ex:soccer) as often as possible. We expect that you will keep us informed on their lives as it is your duty as their primary caregiver. We would like this information in writing as soon as possible. You can mail us back at the following address. thank you for your cooperation, sincerely, xxxxx

              now, she does not think that she should have to put it in writing, she said today (on the phone, she called to complain) that we are just trying to get her into trouble, and that since we can talk now (because the PFA is no longer in effect) that theres no reason to write notes, and refuses to do so.

              We could have talked during the PFA as long as it was about the children. shes not making any sense. i have read in several different resources that any communication between all parties involved should be documented. i am right to want this information in writing, and can she refuse to do so? she hasn't kept me advised about their lives since Dec. 2005, and she is living in a different house that i don't know the address of. doesn't she have to tell me where my daughters are living? i would ask my lawyer, but once i got home from work, he was already gone for the week end, and i need this info asap, thank you in advance for your advice.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: how to protect myself ?

                She normally does not have to put it in writing legally unless a court order exists. But it would be helpful of her to cooperate and do what is best for the child--you could tell ther that...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: how to protect myself ?

                  i did tell her that, her response was that shes not writing anything, and that the information is none of business.

                  Comment

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