CHILD support, not the ex's "recreational" funds

[Unregistered]

With the "unadmirable" habits of my son's mother, is it possible that I can have the amount that I pay for child support minimized? For example: she's been 'training' in her current position for the last 2 years, and still is hardly earning any of her 'own' income, with the exception of this child support, of course. Yet, she hardly is home everynight until roughly 10 or 11 o'clock, and on the weekends, she's always out on her own. She pretty much drops him off to school, and then doesn't see him again at night before he goes to bed. Yes, my son resides w/her & her parents, but he is always home alone w/his grandparents. We are on 'rotating weekends', though when I call to talk to my son when he isn't with me, he's always at someone else's house where his mother has "dropped him off", because again, she's out. She even drops him off to my mother when I'm not around, and doesn't even advise me beforehand that she's doing so. The only way that I ever find these incidents out, is when my mom calls me to let me know that my son is with her. She even still will ask me for extra cash because she says that she's "broke". It's very irritating to me.

I feel that my "child support" is going more towards her "recreational" support, and I want to know that the amount that I pay (almost $900/mo) goes directly towards my son's needs, not hers.

[Unregistered]

Re: CHILD support, not the ex's "recreational" funds

Let the judge know that and indeed you may be able to get the payments reduced.

[Unregistered]

Re: CHILD support, not the ex's "recreational" funds

Im having a similar issue! I dont pay near as much as the other person that posted, but my Ex is also spending the money on himself rather than my children. The newest incidence has really gotten me Angry! I was behind on support and i caught it up all at once. So he got $3300 at One time! Well that was in September. My youngest daughter just turned 9, Nov 15th, and ALL she got for her Birthday (from him) was a stinking Scooby Doo movie!!! She needs new clothes and shoes and she asked for a bike. He told her he couldn't afford a new bike, ($100), because he's using "her" money to fix "HIS" car!!! And not even his Main car.. An Extra Car!!! What kind of crap is that? I Had to buy Her new shoes!! I can barely afford my own bills and child support and he lives high as a hog on My Kids support! He has a home (w/land), a graveyard of cars in his yard, (that I funded) and you should see his multiple Walls of DVD's and Nick Nacks, his electronics, etc. My kids get his hand me down electronics, not even new ones! My youngest gets hand me down clothes that don't fit properly! 75% of the toys and clothes they have were bought by grandparents. He gains, they suffer and It's their money!!! And from what I've seen online so far, there is NOTHING I can do about it!! There was a time when you could file a petition to have the custodial parent prove what they spend support funds on. Prove it's in the kids best interest. What happened to that? And what am I suppose to do now? I would Love nothing more than to take him back to court to change the custody, but at the rate I'm going (paying bills, c/s AND buying the the stuff he Won't), I'll Never be able to afford an attorney to do it. Any Ideas?

[Gbyte]

Re: CHILD support, not the ex's "recreational" funds

My question to either of you...

Have there been changes in income since support was calculated?

To the poster who's ex is in training...for what kind of job? Did she work before? Has she made more in the past? They have something called voluntary underemployment that can sometimes be used in child support calcuations. ie - if she's capable of making more but chooses not too. You may need an attorney for that though.

To the second poster...my selfish brother would do the same thing if he recieved child support (he's on a shared custody scheme). But since he doesn't - he usually can't afford to keep hot water running...but he'll sink money into his cars.

Have there been any changes in childcare costs - who provides health insurance, any other costs?

[Unregistered]

Re: CHILD support, not the ex's "recreational" funds

Since the beginning there I have been required to cover insurance costs also, "If" I have a job that has insurance and so far, I've only had one job that did and I had insurance then.. Now though, I do not. But he has them in the AllKids program here in Alabama, so they have insurance. And far as having support recalculated, we have not. I applied to have it lowered and they refused. They will only raise it, not lower it. Which I am trying to not let happen.. Its reasonable now, I dont need it raised. And they also considered me one of those ones that you mentioned, that makes less than "My Potential" as they called it. Claimed since I have a college degree, I could make more. As if they actually believe, If I could I purposely wouldn't! That's total crap. If I could make more, bet me I would. But, my degree is useless in this state! I only have a 2 yr Associates degree in computer programming! I live in Alabama for the love of god! The very Few computer jobs in these parts require minimum Bachelors degree Or 2 years experience. Now how am I to get the "experience", if no one will hire me without it.. Makes sense to you? Not me! With the cost of living these days, I just scrape by. And its not the support that bothers me. Like I said, it's pretty reasonable. It's "How" he spends it that chaps my rear end! It'll all be good soon though. I don't know if I posted it in my previous blog, but, I found out about some mental and emotional abuse of my youngest daughter by him and his girlfriend. So, I'm going for custody of the youngest one, based on that. When I win, it should knock out support totally. Doesn't make sense to make me pay him, when he would own me for the one I'll have. Should just balance out and neither one of us owe anything. Hate to split the girls up that way, but it's their choice. Oldest one prefers her dads house because he spoils her and the youngest prefers me, because I treat her the way she should be treated. With Respect and Dignity! Thanks for your reply though. If you have any advice, let me know!

[Gbyte]

Re: CHILD support, not the ex's "recreational" funds

Web design? Just a thought as to where a computer programming degree might be helpful and jobs are in all states. Some local ISP's staff with helpdesk people that also do web design.

The courts don't like to "split up" kids. That's a tough sitation. If you can get him to agree to her coming, that would be a possibility.

Each having one kid won't always eliminate child support. If your incomes are different (using your "potential income") and yours is higher, you may still have to pay depending on the difference.