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Controlling Ex-Husband/none of his business?

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  • Controlling Ex-Husband/none of his business?

    My ex-husband was very controlling throughout our marriage and continues to be so. I recently eloped and my new husband and I have not announced this even though it's been several months - we are planning on having an actual wedding ceremony at a later date but we needed to be officially married to receive better health care coverage. For this reason, we have not announced that we are married - we don't want to take away from the actual wedding day. My ex-husband and I have a 9 year old son together and he only sees him 4 days a month (I don't receive child support either). Do I have to disclose that I am married right now even though we haven't announced it yet? I have every intention of letting him know when the actual wedding ceremony will take place since I will have my son there to participate. My son just recently learned that I am married because he commented on my additional band on my finger and this past weekend his dad grilled him about whether i was married or not yet and he told his dad that we were married but that he didn't know details (which is true). His dad is very angry now - I feel like I have a right to keep this to myself until we fully announce our I wrong?

  • #2
    Re: Controlling Ex-Husband/none of his business?

    The whole concept of divorce is a complete separation of lives. Once divorced, it is neither party's business what the other is doing. You are under absolutely no obligation to inform him of anything that goes on in your personal life, nor is it any of your ex-husband's business what you are doing with your life. The only thing that is his business is his child.

    While it would be a sound idea to let your son in on your new marriage (so as to not thoroughly confuse him) it is none of your ex-husband's business that you got married and you certainly are not required to inform him.

    Your lives now are separate with the exception of any children born to the marriage.

    Let your ex be angry all he wants to. That's his problem. Just because he's angry does NOT mean you owe him an explanation about anything that goes on in your personal business. He will just have to learn to deal with his irrational anger over something that's none of his concern.


    • #3
      Re: Controlling Ex-Husband/none of his business?

      Thank you for the reply, I truly appreciate it! My son does know that we are married and has a very good relationship with my new husband who is a very gentle, sweet and patient man - completely opposite from my ex.

      I agree that we have separate lives and we have no business knowing what is going on in each's other's lives unless it pertains to our son - which I have always kept him informed about anything in regards to him. My ex always feels like it is his right to know everything and has a huge control issue...and this happens with every girl that he is with.

      Thank you again!


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