Change Custody, Support, and Visitation -- I live in Arizona

[Struggling Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Struggling]

My ex does not want to be my child’s father any longer. He married me w/ prior knowledge that I was with child. I have letters in his own writing stating this. We were married March 23, 1998 and my daughter was born Aug 13, 1998. She knows him as her father and no one else. Now he’s re-married (with new wife and her child) he’s forced this knowledge out to my daughter. She doesn’t understand why her father doesn’t want to be her daddy. He’s made no contact with her to sooth her. In fact, he’s just text me saying to start the paper work. Part of our divorce, was we were suppose to pay 50/50 on everything. He doesn’t buy her cloths, doesn’t pay for her school activities, lunches etc.. It was stupid of me we don’t pay child support because it’s suppose to be 50/50. It’s not. I lose hours and money at work when he travels out of the country. He’s gone 9 months or more throughout the year.
Now that he has a new family he won’t have anything to do with her, and I won’t allow him to walk away like this. He knew she was not his, now after we’re divorced, he wants nothing to do with her. She’s going to be 12, isn’t he legally responsible too? I would like to change my paper work to sole custody, and to claim her on taxes every year, I want him to pay child support, and I want it in that she can see him if and when she wants too…if he wants to see her. I live in Arizona. What are my options if any?

[AFFA Top Level Member Find all posts View Profile Close AFFA]

re: Change Custody, Support, and Visitation -- I live in Arizona

If the child was adopted by your ex-husband as father then he will be liable for child support. The court will consider all the factors responsible and will decide by keeping child's interest as of paramount consideration. US Supreme Court in Michael H. v. Gerald D.,491 U.S.110(1989), have upheld presumed father statue as a reason for protecting family integrity. The person can be deemed father by his acts. In this generally it is to be shown that the man is raising the child for number of years as his own child which can be shown in your case. By this method you can apply for child support.

AFF

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re: Change Custody, Support, and Visitation -- I live in Arizona

From a legal perspective, since the child was born to a marriage, and he acknowledged the child as his own (I assume his name is listed as the child's father on the birth certificate) he is her legal father, and as such, has the legal financial obligation to continue to support her until she turns 18.

You can get court ordered child support.

You cannot force him to continue having a relationship with the child, and it's sad he's chosen such that route, as it is not the child's fault for any of this, but you can make sure he pays child support.

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re: Change Custody, Support, and Visitation -- I live in Arizona

He's is on her birth certificate, baptismal records, military records, medical records, and school records. I also have letters in his own writing prior and after our marriage acknowledging he knew my child was not his, and still wanted to raise her as his own stating, “God answered his prayers.” Also stating that I must never tell my daughter he is not her biological father, as he will raise her as his own. His entire family had no prior knowledge that she was not his child until a few days ago. They want to remain in her life as they state she is still family, regardless of what he is doing.
As of now, he has not returned her calls. She’s almost 12, and is having a hard time dealing with this. I have started counseling for her to help her adjust to this.
Thank you for your response. I will see an attorney.

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re: Change Custody, Support, and Visitation -- I live in Arizona

If a court ordered him to pay 50% of costs, and he's not doing so, file a Motion to Enforce, as he is violating the court order.

You can petition the court for sole custody, but also ask for child support to be ordered. If he does not pay his child support, he can lose his occupational, driver's and any recreational licenses, he can have his passport suspended, he can have his wage garnished, the IRS can intercept his tax returns, the list goes on...

He is legally obligated to support this child. He is her legal father. It is deplorable that he told this child that he is not her "real" father, but adults many times do extremely hurtful things. While you cannot change his behavior, you can make sure she gets all the love and security she deserves from you.

Good luck to you.