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Should I agree with the mediator and trust that he'll take care of my son?

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  • Should I agree with the mediator and trust that he'll take care of my son?

    This is going to be a long one but I need some advice from the outside.My ex was heavy into crack and pills which got worse after I had my baby(I have only tried marijuana and that was 9 years ago) so I raised my son on my own and left the ex when I had enough money to move out.My son was 1 year old (for the year before that the ex did his drugs outside our home and my son and me were never around it,but he sold almost everything we owned and stole money from me he also started to do needles)I got full custody he had supervised visits.He went to rehab and seemed to be doing better and wanted to be a good dad.It was over with us but I gave him shared custody to give him a chance at being a dad.He then saw our son often and babysat him while I worked but got back into drugs and stole money out of his moms pocket and she charged him with robbery,He went to jail and got out on probation which he breached and went back to jail.By now our son had just turned 2.I fell in love with a guy who me and my son moved in with and my son is very well taken care of loved and is the smartest kid I know,no thanks to his dad.anyways I filed for divorce while the ex was still in jail last April and in it,asking for joint custody with day to day care and control with me.He said no and got a lawyer claiming that he was ready to turn his life around and wanted half custody.the fight went on with him living with his mom when he got out in may,him and his mother have seen our son often since.He said he was doing good then in September his mom said he went out and never came home she had my the morning the ex was there almost dead she called and ambulance and they said he's overdosed.his sister told me there was fresh needle marks on his arm.he says no,he overdosed on his prescription by my lawyer wrote and affidavit stating everything that he's done and asking for supervised visits.he has had our son with his mother once or twice a week since.he's still trying to fight supervised visits saying once again that he's clean and ready to change his life he has a good girlfriend now,who I've met and seems good for him.We went to family mediation today to see if we can do this without going to court and trial.I am so stressed every day I'm losing hair and close to tears. the mediator says that he doesnt need supervised visits as long as we have things like,police enforcement if I feel the need, or no drug use within 24 hours of seeing our son etc,and that our son should be safe. I want to agree with that to get this over with because I dont want to go to court and i cant afford to go to court but how can I be sure of my sons safety?And my laywer, family,boyfriend and friends think it should be supervised.the ex is good with our son if hes straight and my son cries because he misses his daddy.I don't want to keep them apart.If only I were lucky enough to have an ex who doesn;t want to see his kid.oh yeah he doesn't understand why he should pay child support either because I work full time,my boyfriend makes good money and i get child tax.should i go to court and make this a big fight and get supervised or should i agree with the mediator and trust that he'll take care of my son?????

  • #2
    re: Should I agree with the mediator and trust that he'll take care of my son?

    It does not take much to to ask for a judge to hear this and the judge can decide--if issues of safety exist your ex can always be supervised at least for the short term and then changes can be made after that.


    • #3
      re: Should I agree with the mediator and trust that he'll take care of my son?

      First of all There is history of drug abuse and neglect and safety of the child.. I would take the proof with you to the next meeting and explain to her the safety and concerns that you have and that you want him to be a part of this childs life but you are not convinced that he is drug free and safe in his care alone..And you have this right to be concerned.. You can ask for the case to be heard by the judge and ask for a court appointed attorney they will supply you with one based on your income..or you can go to your local finacial aid in your county and state and see if one of the attorneys there will help you with your case since there is proof that he has taken drugs in the past and has returned to drugs before there is a good chance the attorney will get you full/sole/legal/physical custody of your child and him supervised visits and you can have them done in three ways, you can have them take place at the local agency in your county and state, or at his home with a responsiable adult in the home, or in your home with another person other than you and your current boyfriend or husband like a friend or family member.. You will win this case.. Don't give in cause they want it simple and the thing about that is he might have him for the visit but od again and this time he may be alone and something could happen to that child so no don't give in to this fight all the way... I hope this will ease your mind and stress I understand that you are scared and stressed and want this over with but the money you put into this and the time and effort you put into this is worth it and you will be less stressed knowing that your child is safe..Good Luck..


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