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  • Marijuana use relating to child custody

    State of Missouri.

    My wife and I have 4 children, the eldest 3 of which are from my wife's previous marriage. We do not have full custody, though the children live with us full-time.

    I am a recreational marijuana user and often have a very small quantity (1/4 ounce or less) in a fireproof lockbox that I keep locked in my office. I do not smoke in front of the kids, obviously, and make every effort to be as discreet as possible.

    However, my wife is concerned that if the younger children find out about my marijuana use, they will tell their biological father. My wife believes that her ex-husband will, in turn, contact Family Services or whatever administrative body manages custody and child
    support arrangements in Missouri with that information in an attempt to get the children taken away from us (the truth is that he doesn't even WANT the kids all the time, but would endure it in order to avoid paying child support).

    My question is this: if push came to shove and Family Services (or whoever) was made aware of the circumstances I have described, would possession of a misdemeanor amount of marijuana be sufficient grounds for them to take our 3 oldest children away from us and order them to live with their father?

    I am a 37 year old responsible adult with no trace of a criminal record. I have a good job, work hard for my money and provide a nice, upper-middle-class home for our children to grow up in. The children's biological father has a history of violent behavior (outside the home -- never towards his kids), adultery and 3 failed marriages (married a 4th time now). He's a career military guy who spent the last couple years away from his kids in Afghanistan and is trying to get sent back for another tour of duty soon.

    It seems highly unlikely to me that any court or governing body would think it was in the best interest of the children to pull them out of their home and schools and relocate them to live with their father because I possess a misdemeanor amount of marijuana which I am careful to keep concealed.

    I enjoy the recreational use of marijuana and want to continue, but any risk of losing our children is one that I am unwilling to take. I will change my lifestyle if I need to, but I'm hoping for an expert in Family Law to tell me that I need not worry about that happening.

    Thank you for reading about my situation. I would greatly appreciate any insight that you might be able to give.

  • #2
    Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

    You are right they may not remove the kids but it would be within their discretionary power to do so, and you certainly don't want even the chance of that happening.

    We would advise to cease that use ASAP--or you just do assume the risk.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

      Personally, I think if you are being discreet and not keeping tons of stash of hand, and are an occasional user, everything will be fine.

      Your post sounds like you are a bit paranoid. Maybe you are smoking too much.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

        I would say you should be able to avoid being caught by the children. Avoid smoking when the kids are at home. I would also talk to them about doing drugs and explain to them that drugs are very bad and to never do them.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          Personally, I think if you are being discreet and not keeping tons of stash of hand, and are an occasional user, everything will be fine.

          Your post sounds like you are a bit paranoid. Maybe you are smoking too much.
          First of all, the only thing about marijuana that makes people paranoid is the ridiculous and nonsensical federal prohibition of this extremely useful, non-addictive, medicinal PLANT. Marijuana does not create feelings of paranoia. Any paranoia created by the use of marijuana is directly due to the thought that your home could be invaded and your children taken from you by heavily armed federal "Drug Warriors" -- all for using a homeopathic PLANT in place of harmful, addictive, chemical drugs created by pharmaceutical companies (whose primary goals are to make money and influence the nation's drug policies so that they can make more money).

          Second, Yes -- depending on your state and who you are dealing with you can lose your children. My 13 year old son in Texas is currently not allowed to see me unsupervised even though I am a registered OMMP medical marijuana user (which means that yes -- it IS legal for me to grow, possess, and use marijuana per Oregon – my state of residence). Apparently my mistake in this debacle was being honest with my ex-wife and son about my use of medical marijuana. Why? Because 1) I am not a liar -- especially to my son, and 2) I am not doing anything wrong or hurting anyone. My suggestion is to join NORML and lobby your legislative representatives to vote for the removal of marijuana prohibition, which must happen eventually since more and more people are finally realizing that marijuana is an herb (not a drug) and that legal drugs such as alcohol and tobacco (which kill people) are significantly more dangerous to everyone than marijuana could ever be. Even if you stop smoking to avoid any potential risks with your children please help get marijuana legal again for the good of the entire country. More importantly – don’t lie to people and when you do talk to your children tell them the WHOLE truth – or else they will be as misinformed as too many people already are – which could lead them to serious problems with true drugs in the future.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

            I completely agree. There are TOOO many ppl who have never touched pot in their lives and think it's this "horrible" thing. The only reason you will get in trouble is because some politically-correct pompas judge will have to make you an "example". This happens way too often as well.

            If you have used pot you realize there are no side effects. The only "side effects" are hungry & laughter. wow. The "drug" companies (because that's what they are: DRUGS) fill senate & congress with many many false ideas about what pot really does to you. NOTHING. Is really the answer.

            Pot does not put you or anyone around you at any sort of risk. It is fun, relaxes you, and makes you laugh. There is no harm. Not only that but the smoke in pot is literally less harmful than cigs but somehow the gov't supports them. hmmm. is that because they're making money off of it? bet so. If pot is legalized there will be no way to tax it because everyone will grow their own. KNOW HOW???

            ************IT'S AN EFFIN PLANT!!!!!!!!!!!!************

            get REAL ppl!!! this law is ridiculous & unless you have used YOURSELF I don't want to hear you're complaints. HUSH your mouth. thanks. have a great day.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

              marijuana is the devil working in your lungs and capturing your mind

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

                haha...no worries. by the time our generation is in congress this will be legal. all the old folks at nursing homes will be raising hell about our "wild ways". pot's harmless. let it go already.

                i had a custody case & the judge told us we were both getting tested 20 mins after the case. appearantly he does this to everyone, there were 5 other cases of his that were getting tested at the same time. holy cow.
                so i admitted that i did use marijuana and he didn't really give a crap. he just told me that i "had to stop" and shouldn't test positive again. all while smiling. too funny. most judges realize pot is not a danger, but they have to at least pretend to enforce the law bc it's the law. so...if you feel it's worth it, take a chance. look around, check the records of the family court near you that you would attend and see what the judges say for other parents who have admitted to using, or gotten tested. really good way to see.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

                  If you need to use it ...you gotta problem....sounds like you are telling us not the whole truth!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

                    What an odd assortment of comments...

                    Fundamental question; is using illegal drugs ground for taking away a child? The answer is yes. I'm not saying it's logical I'm not saying it's right I'm saying...

                    It IS.

                    Yes, they can remove the child. Justified or not it is how the world turns. Until the courts see pot the same way you do I can't see that changing in the near future. I could care less (personally) about your use but you asked a question and I attempted to answer it. The answer is yes, the courts can take away your child based upon your use of illegal drugs.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

                      Originally posted by lori509 View Post
                      What an odd assortment of comments...

                      Fundamental question; is using illegal drugs ground for taking away a child? The answer is yes. I'm not saying it's logical I'm not saying it's right I'm saying...

                      It IS.

                      Yes, they can remove the child. Justified or not it is how the world turns. Until the courts see pot the same way you do I can't see that changing in the near future. I could care less (personally) about your use but you asked a question and I attempted to answer it. The answer is yes, the courts can take away your child based upon your use of illegal drugs.
                      The courts can take the child away? But will they another question you or any of the ones on this site can positively answer for sure.ha ha ha

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

                        My husband and I just went through a custody battle because of his use of smoking weed. It never bothered anybody till 9 years down the road. He called Child Protective services which in turn came over investigated, gave my husband and I both saliva drug screens. My husband came back positive. They made him sign a paper saying he would not use or be influenced around the kids and that was that. But we went to court and it was brought up by my ex husband. the lawyer made it sound horrible which wasn't the fact at all, but my husband was ordered to take hair follicle tests. if he came back positive I would loose custody of my child. So just becareful and use your best judgement.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          The courts can take the child away? But will they another question you or any of the ones on this site can positively answer for sure.ha ha ha
                          Will they if they find out? I can say yes, they will. It's not because they consider pot right or wrong (courts rarely deal with right or wrong that's left for philosophers to figure out.. ) they deal with legal and illegal. It's illegal and yes, unless you live in Alaska in which you can legally own a small amount of pot they will take away the child (or children.)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

                            unregistered, you are the devil in disguise. Im sorry pot has many usefull qualities. it never killed anyone. Did alcohol???? Yes. why is that legal. people on prescription drugs have killed people..... Pot is no big deal. Maybe you should smoke a joint and get off your high horse and laugh a little. it might do you dome good. I know many many people who smoke and they are good parents, hard workers, have a beautiful home and are productive citizens. this leagl crap with pot is ridiculous. Do you know how many innocent people are sitting in jail for small amounts of pot????? too many and when they pass this new law the jails will have lots fo empty beds. I get high with a little help from friends.........

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Marijuana use relating to child custody

                              My husband and I are going through a case with child services right now because of the use of marijuana. My husband smokes, but never around the kids. The kids are now 19, 16, 15, and 8. Yes, the 19 and 16 year old know he smokes. They found out when we found the drug on them. Most teens try it. My husband was a heavy drug user and drinker years ago and has been clean from all other drugs and alcohol for over 10 years. A neighbor that didn't like our dogs decided to call the cops many times on us and when that didn't work they called child services about the fact that he smokes. He admitted that he smoked, but never in front of the kids. My husband has had some depression issues in the past that the counselor put him on "legal" meds for, the meds they had him on turned him into a monster, he went through so much trying to find something that would be able to keep him calm and keep him from being depressed, until this day the only thing he has found that does that is Maijuana. Because of child services getting into our lives in the past 4 months my husband, will not leave the house because he has a problem with crouds and anger, he has ended up with a court case for assalt, let me say just one thing, child services comming into our lives have done nothing good, they feel that because he was clean he was going to take better care of our 4 children. In reality it has done just the oposite, now because he was forced by them to quite, I have a neglect charge on me for allowing him to be home alone with the kids when I knew he was using, I am sure that is better for the kids than the happy life they were living before they made my husband quite. I do understand that it is an illegal drug, but in reality, I would have rather had him smoking the illegal drug than being a zombie on the legal drugs they put him on that caused all of this, a zombie can not cook dinner for an 8 year old or play wii with them or do their homework with them. (that is what I deal with now) rather than the man I used to live with that used to have the kids homework done, all of them bathed and ready for bed when I got home from work at 9:30. Not counting the dinner I used to get every night, now I have to call and make sure one of the teen agers are home at all times and remind the 8 year old to do everything that needs to be done every night after school. They are now telling me that my husband can not handle the kids and that I need to find a way to work less hrs because if I can not be sure someone other than the teenagers are home with the youngest they do not feel he is being taken care of well enough were my husband is not able to do it anymore. I told them if they had left us alone to begin with they would have all been fine, now my 8 year old sees his dad laying on the couch all day, unable to get up from work because of his meds and I am struggling to keep my family together, ya, that was much better for the kids. Sometime child services will be ok with it, sometimes they won't, it depends on the case worker and the state, so be very carefull with what you do.

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